Friday, July 24, 2015

Broxanne Lesnar

Sports Illustrated

It was just 4 months ago that Broxanne Lesnar announced that he was a she. After her transition, Broxanne joined the Unified Woman's MMA. 

Cynics suggested this was a pretext after diverticulitis sidelined her career in the UFC. But Broxanne insisted that from the time she hit puberty, she fantasized about gazing at herself in the mirror in a tutu. 

Last night, Broxanne made her debut against Michelle "Karate Hottie" Waterson. In the first round, Broxanne suffered a wardrobe malfunction when her silicon falsies repeatedly slipped out of her bra and bounced around the octagon. Sometimes they bounced out of the octagon into the stands. Thankfully, Broxanne had extras.

Broxanne nearly lost the second round until her stilettos caused her to lose balance and fall on top of Waterson. By the time the forklift removed Broxanne, Waterson was flat as a possum on the LA freeway.

After the match, fans lined up to have Broxanne autograph falsies that bounced out of the octagon.

In other news, the National Enquirer leaked photos of Broxanne posing for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, with a platinum blond wig and bikini. Dana White hailed Broxanne as the Anna Nicole Smith of Ultimate Fighters.

1 comment:

  1. There's a series of mental images I could have gone a really long time without seeing.