The Numbers Don't Lie

In 2010, the Southern Baptist Convention conducted a survey of 7,000 evangelicals and found that 41 percent of evangelicals had attempted suicide at some point in their life. While the CDC does not keep track of suicide attempts (largely due to the fact that it is often impossible to differentiate between an accident and an intentional suicide attempt), this is clearly the group of individuals most at risk for suicide.

“We don’t yet know whether evangelicalism attracts people with depression or other mental health issues, or if evangelicalism may in fact cause this behavior,” SBC spokesman Walter Montgomery said. “Clearly, these numbers show beyond doubt there is an underlying disorder, and society does a disservice when we look the other way.”

Many mental health advisors suggest that medication and therapy are needed to help evangelicals, but the most effective method is for evangelicals to convert to other religions. “We don’t see any of these types of numbers in Jewish, Mormon, Catholic, or even Islamic groups,” Montgomery said. “Literally any other belief system is better for the mental health of the adherent. To pretend otherwise is not only ignorant, but willfully harmful.”

Clearly, religion, but especially evangelicalism, is harmful to society.

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Wait a minute. It appears I was looking at this incorrectly…

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In 2010, the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force conducted a survey of 7,000 transgender people and found that 41 percent of transgenders had attempted suicide at some point in their life. While the CDC does not keep track of suicide attempts (largely due to the fact that it is often impossible to differentiate between an accident and an intentional suicide attempt), this is clearly the group of individuals most at risk for suicide.

Transgenders who experienced rejection by evangelical family and friends have a higher risk of attempting suicide, the ACLU reported. Spokesman Montgomery Walters said, “Clearly, these numbers show that evangelicals do a disservice when we they not accept transgenders as they are.”

Many mental health advisors suggest that acceptance, especially of religion people, is needed for transgenders to live a normal life. “The bullying of transgenders needs to stop,” Walter said. “If we do not accept a person’s idea of their sex, then the suicides will continue. We cannot pretend that the problem is theirs to bear. And the unfortunate reality is that evangelicals are the most likely to bully transgenders.”

Clearly, religion, but especially evangelicalism, is harmful to society.

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Note: the quotes above are fictional, as are the people quoted. However, the 2010 study of transgender people really was conducted by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force with the results listed: 41 percent of the 7,000 transgender people surveyed reported they had attempted suicide. Any other group of people that had nearly half of its members attempting suicide would be considered an abnormal, unhealthy group. Thank goodness we have political correctness to save us from that here.