Friday, December 02, 2011

The Epistle of St. Craig to the Biolans

In love he postdestined us for adoption as sons, according to the low nut hand he was dealt, to the praise of his glorious cartomancy. In him we have obtained an inheritance, from the bottom of the deck, by him who works all things according to a forced bet.  For by chance you have been saved through the luck of the draw.

Though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—yet owing to the counterfactuals of creaturely freedom–she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” As it is written, “I really wanted to love Esau, but that wasn’t in the cards.” What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! For he says to Jimmy the Greek, “I’d have mercy if I could, but my hands are tied.” So then it depends not on God's will or exertion, but on the hand he was dealt.


  1. Boy, that needs to be put into a comic strip, because that was FUNNY! Oh, and then someone needs to send a link to that comic to Dr. Craig.

  2. Some appreciate satire, others, uh, not so much.

    Personally, I thought it was pretty creative.

  3. Absolutely, this should be copyrighted immediatley. ROFL!