Those scary Christian Recons

Comrades,

It looks like we need to expedite our nefarious plot to take over the world. A certain Glendale, Arizona-based philosopher has just posted as exposé detailing our secret scheme.

Has the money been wired to Rumsfeld’s Swiss bank account to stage the coup d’etat?

As I recall, the arrangement was that he’d receive half the money now, and the other half as soon as Gary North has been installed as President-for-Life of the United Red States of America.

We also need to firm up the rest of the cabinet. As I recall, we were thinking along the lines of:

Ben Stein as V.P.
Pat Robertson at DOD (after Rummy retires to his Tuscan villa)
D. James Kennedy at State
Roy Moore at Justice
John Stossel at Treasury
Richard Perle at Homeland Security
Charles Krauthammer at the CIA
Newt Gingrich at the FBI
David Horowitz at the Education Dept
Laura Schlessinger at the FCC
Dr. Dobson at HHS
Pat Buchanan at INS
Ralph Reed at the Bureau of Indian Affairs
Donald Trump at the Dept. of Interior
Charles K. Johnson at NASA
G. Gordon Liddy at the Peace Corps
Oliver North at the UN
Bill O’Reilly at PBS
Ann Coulter as UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador

The original plan was to relocate all card-carrying members of the liberal media and the Hollywood establishment from the East Coast and the Left Coast to the Siberian gulag of flyover country.

However, I’d like to put in a plea for clemency in the case of the aforementioned philosopher from Glendale, AZ.

For one thing, he was kind enough to plug my recent book on the Resurrection. So I’d like to return the favor.

Indeed, when I take charge of the newly formed Ministry of Propaganda, I intended to make his book on C. S. Lewis's Dangerous Idea: In Defense of the Argument from Reason required reading, as a part of the core curriculum.

(Speaking of which—don’t forget the Amish dress code for all faculty and students at Berkeley, Stanford, and USFCA.)

We have to make allowance for the fact that his immersion in all things Lewisonian has rubbed off on him. You know what I mean…the immoderately moderate via media of the Elizabethan Settlement.

I’m afraid he’s lost touch with his inner warrior. Needs a crash course in conversational Klingon.

However, it may be possible that, with a suitable inducement, he can be turned to the dark side…uh…I mean, to our side.

I’d suggest that we offer him a one of those cozy little 50,000 sq. ft. mansions atop La Jolla Heights, along with his endowed chair of philosophy at UCSD.

After all, there’s going to be a lot of vacant real estate around them thar parts after we exile the godless, blue state residents to the aforesaid gulag in flyover country.