Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Stranded time-travelers

Time-travel is one of the reasons the SF genre exists. In addition, there are philosophical and scientific debates about whether time travel is physically or metaphysical possible. 

But is there evidence beyond the theoretical debates? I'd say there's some strong, but strangely neglected, empirical evidence for time travel. 

Every so often I see people who look like they just popped out of the 1950s. They are so out of place. 

They always come in pairs. Usually two young white guys. Always two guys. They are dressed in Eisenhower-era attire. Black business suits with white shirts and ties. Even on a hot summer day. They have name tags with quaint designations like Elder Hyrum or Elder Nephi. 

Why they're called "Elder" is perplexing inasmuch as these guys appear to be about 18 years old, give or take. 

I see them knocking on the doors of complete strangers. Clearly they are lost. Trapped in the wrong century. Desperate to get back to the 1950s, where they belong. 

The future shock must be extremely disorienting. When they stepped into the time machine, it was the era of Pat Boone, Buddy Holly, Frankie Avalon, gas-guzzlers with tail fins, ducktail haircuts, TVs with rabbit ears, and hula hoops. The next moment it's 2015. 

I assume they're the result of experiments conducted at Area 51. Ike realized we lacked the technological wherewithal to repel an alien invasion, so the only defense was to escape into the past or future. 

I wish I could give these stranded time-travelers some technical advice on how to return to their own century, but having seen the future, if they took that advance knowledge back with them, it would change the past, which would change the future. Unless the changes they made already happened. Or maybe they'd erase themselves from the space-time continuum. It's all so confusing. What if I unwittingly unleash the clock roaches? Better not to interfere. Unless my nonintervention is what unleashes the swarming clock roaches. But I digress. 


  1. Of course they are Elders. Being from the 1950's they are well into the 60's or 70's despite that they look only fresh outta high school.

  2. I could never be a Mormon, they don't drink coffee...