Funny Fridays: "Defending" Peter Lumpkins From the Viciousness of a Chuckle by Peter Lumpkins

Seems my tactic of ignoring the honest publisher’s summary, the online videos, the other sermons that the fellow has preached, the folks who’ve read a book before saying the author was dangerously close to hypocrisy, or any number of other ways one could state a prima facie ignorant assertion about the hoopla surrounding the hoopla surrounding Rob Bell’s book, Love Wins, keeps catching the attention of some. In fact, one of my posts on the Bell fiasco so far may best be expressed something like this: a bunch of words pretty much unrelated to the content of anything remotely similar to the topic at hand. And, it seems to naturally follow from that: if you ignore the evidence for something that other people do not ignore then they are the fools, not you.

Truth be told, my granddaughter, who is but 3 years old, has a higher IQ than I.

On the other hand, your average band of “scare quote” websites which specialize in reason and rationality instead of hating on James White, has this to say:

But the Bell kerfuffle was just a trap which Schultz cleverly set to ensnare the grand muftis of modern Arminianism: Ben Witherington, Peter Lumpkins, Scot McKnight, and Roger Olson. He knew they’d take the bait, rushing to the defense of Bell.

What is there to say? Some people read to understand and write to clarify. Others--unfortunately, like so many Internet apologists named Peter Lumpkins--read but do not understand and write but only confuse. But just because a post starts pretending to be from the National Enquirer as reported by Mitty Muckraker in no possible way could indicate this column could possibly be satire.

We know who is really behind it. James White*.

With that, I am…

Peter

* Some unaccomplished theologians** insist White embraces what is known as historic Hyper-Calvinism

** These are collectively known as “Peter Lumpkins.”

UPDATE LUMPY RESPONDS!!!

Oh noes!!! Whatever shall I do. Peter Lumpkins has responded to this post:

peter lumpkins said in reply to Benjamin Musclow...

BTW, Mr. Musclow

Just for kicks, here’s a another link for you concerning the website I cited as an example of “Reformed Apologetics websites which specialize in Calvinism on steroids.” Not content to allow the spoof of me to stand as is with a bit of humor most can appreciate, the good old boys there must needs copy/paste the post here to their site. But instead of letting it speak for itself, they instead purposely add statements to the piece as if I wrote it—statements I most certainly did not nor would not. Such stands as fairly good evidence why few if any not in their particular club gives them the time of day.

With that, I am…

Peter

Apparently, Lumpkins believes the average reader is only as intelligent as he is, and he actually feels the need to inform you that yours truly did "purposely add statements to the piece as if I wrote it--statements I most certainly did not nor would not" (sic). No way! In a piece clearly marked as "satire"?! Who would have possibly been able to tell that?!

Certainly not any of those unsophisticated losers on that militant Calvinist blog. Good thing we have Lumpkins to save us from ourselves lest the world be completely doomed.