It isn’t easy being the angel Gabriel. You see, commuting from heaven to earth and back is a cumbersome and perilous exercise in a triple-decker universe.
To begin with, the only way for Gabriel to get here is through the sluice gates of the firmament. So every time he makes the trek, he has to don a wetsuit to keep his feathers dry. The wetsuit has zippers on each shoulder so that once he makes it through, he can unzip the shoulders to stretch his wings. But sometimes the zippers get stuck, which makes for a hard landing.
Needless to say, every angelic apparition is preceded by a quantity of rain. For every time the sluice gates of heaven are opened to let Gabriel come and go, there’s a downpour as the cosmic sea pours through the drain. So keep an umbrella handy whenever you’re expecting a visit from your guardian angel.
Gabriel also has to wear a football helmet so that he doesn’t suffer a concussion from banging his head against the solid dome of the firmament when he returns to heaven.
No, I think you may have gotten it all wrong.
ReplyDeleteGab has retractables. When he is heading through the firmament, his shoulders are covered with solid gold hinged doors that seal his water repellant wings for the entry into this world and reentry back into Heaven's Glory. Of course the solid gold is tempered with angelic alloys so they don't melt.
That's why you see the glow around him and the others! I am sure I am right! The gold glows because of the intense heat and if he doesn't get his business done quick the glow will fade and he would be considered a fallen angel like the devil himself and his fallen angels.
Or at least I think that is plausible enough?
And, as for it not being easy for him getting here, well the reason it isn't so easy is because when Gab gets a bit hasty with His Word and starts heading out before his angel's wings are all the way in, retracted, and the gold hinged doors have closed on them and a feather or two are sticking out, well they stink when burning up going through the firmament. Geeesh, the smell of burning angel feathers, well, not having smelled any, I cannot say what that smells like but I can imagine they smell as bad as goose feathers as we are singeing them off the goose before cooking at the Thanksgiving day feast?