Insufferable unbelievers

The plight of hamsters as evidence for the nonexistence of a Supreme Being
By Sis. Sobsister
Guest editorialist.

Having read Bubba Blubber’s shocking confession over at Triablogue, I’d like to thank Steve Hays for giving me the chance to comment on the tragic fate of Dimples.

What strikes me as the most compelling evidence against the existence of an omnipotent and benevolent deity is the status of hamsters in the world today. One might think that the sheer number of people in this country alone who profess devotion to the ideals of Christianity would have the effect of making unbelievers more compassionate towards the suffering of our furry little friends. Sadly, this is not the case.

On July 1, 2004, there were approximately 20 million pet hamsters in the US. A day later there are 19,999,999. This is not due to disease or natural catastrophe, but to the pinchfisted cruelty of Bubba Blubber.

Now what kind of god would create these creatures with the foreknowledge of their agony at the hands of cruel humanists? How could any of this suffering be needed in any way?

Either God was able to save our hapless hamster, but unwilling—in which case he ceases to be benevolent—or else he was willing, but unable—in which case he ceases to be omnipotent.

In a perfect world, every hamster would be a wanted hamster.

It seems to me that our religious language is at a loss to conceive any reasonable explanation for an omnipotent and benevolent deity permitting an atrocious atheist like Bubba Blubber to darken the face of the earth. And this is not an isolated case.

More to come...