On the heels of the Arthur Ashe courage award, the ZUF (Zebra United Front) made Walter Palmer this year's recipient of its annual Zebra courage award. ZooNews caught up with a spokeszebra for ZUF, to conduct a brief interview:
ZooNews: Why did you award Palmer?
ZUF: Because the only good lion is a dead lion. Ask any zebra. The zebras are for the zebras.
ZooNews: PETA says Palmer should be extradited, charged, and hanged.
ZUF: That's so very human. PETA doesn't speak for zebras, that's for sure. No zebras were consulted before PETA issued that partisan statement.
ZooNews: Randal Rauser joined in the condemnation of Palmer.
ZUF: That's just one more reason no self-respecting zebra would ever be an Arminian. Rauser is such a bigoted speciesist. How typical that he'd side with the lion. Humans love a glamourpuss.
ZooNews: Some groups condemn the shooting because Cecil had a collar.
ZUF: That just illustrates how paternalistic you humans are. Humans don't respect wild animals. They treat lions like pet kitty cats. Putting a collar on it makes it special.
ZooNews: Late night talkshow host Jimmy Kimmel delivered a tearful eulogy for Cecil.
ZUF: Unlike zebras, Kimmel has never met a wild lion up close and personal. He should be put in a cage with a lion overnight to get acquainted. These bleeding-heart humans have never been on the receiving end of a lion.