Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Bob Larson

Not Redbeard Larson!!!!!!
It isn't nice to mock the color of Larson's beard. His barber informs me that Bob used to have a light brown beard until he developed his deliverance ministry. As anyone who's seen End of Days can assure you, the Archfiend practices scorched-earth tactics. Gabriele Amorth used to have a luxuriant head of hair before His Infernal Majesty singed it like a blowtorch. Bob's fire-retardant shampoo dyed his beard red.
Alan should be more respectful. If it weren't for Bob and his death-defying daughters, swarms of flying monkeys would eclipse the sun.


Alan seems to be insinuating that Bob's gift of tongues transcribes a jammed computer keyboard. However, I have it on good authority that when Bob speaks in tongues, he's actually quoting Aristophanes: Βρεκεκεκὲξ κοὰξ κοάξ


  1. SPIRIT, WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?!?!?!?!?!?!??

    1. Now, Alan, surely you're not insinuating that an evil spirit would lie to Bob? I'm shocked by your skepticism regarding the honesty of demons.

  2. "I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
    I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes,
    Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
    And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore!"