Thursday, June 10, 2010

Anencephalic atheism redux

Apostate Ken Pulliam recently drew attention to some cutting-edge neuroscientific data correlating brain lateralization with religious orientation. The results are quite exciting.

As it turns out, left-handers are mystics and Pentecostals while right-handers are apologists and theologians. Put another way, southpaws have all the religious experiences while northpaws have all the theistic proofs.

Every southpaw is another Kathryn Kuhlman, Santa Teresa de Ávila or San Juan de la Cruz while every northpaw is another Augustine, Aquinas, or Calvin.

Needless to say, this rigorous scientific finding will greatly simplify one’s vocational options.

In a related discovery, confirming earlier predictions, atheists are literally brainless. Neurosurgeons and forensic pathologists found that, upon opening the skulls of atheists, their cranium was full of spinal fluid.

Finally, researchers have also studied some half-brained patients who are one part theist to one part atheist. This involved test-subjects from the BioLogos Foundation.


  1. Well now, that explains everything!

    I'm ambidextrous!

  2. I believe Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama are all lefties.

  3. Natamllc said...

    'I'm ambidextrous!'

    You're the Anakin Skywalker of Christianity - bring balance you must.

  4. Professor Satoshi Kanazawa of the London School of Economics announced research showing those identified as atheists had higher IQs, atheists smugly held up the data as proof positive that people not confined by the dogmatic structure of a religion are best able to soar intellectually. 

  5. Articles by Kanazawa, S.

    Social Bookmarking

    What's this?
    Two on Morality

    Why Liberals and Atheists Are More Intelligent

    Satoshi Kanazawa
    London School of Economics and Political Science

    Correspondence: Department of Management, London School of Economics and Political Science, Houghton Street, London WC2A 2AE, United Kingdom;

    The origin of values and preferences is an unresolved theoretical question in behavioral and social sciences. The Savanna-IQ Interaction Hypothesis, derived from the Savanna Principle and a theory of the evolution of general intelligence, suggests that more intelligent individuals may be more likely to acquire and espouse evolutionarily novel values and preferences (such as liberalism and atheism and, for men, sexual exclusivity) than less intelligent individuals, but that general intelligence may have no effect on the acquisition and espousal of evolutionarily familiar values (for children, marriage, family, and friends). The analyses of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Study 1) and the General Social Surveys (Study 2) show that adolescent and adult intelligence significantly increases adult liberalism, atheism, and men’s (but not women’s) value on sexual exclusivity.

  6. For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,

    'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.'

    Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

    For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'

    1 Cor 1:18-31

  7. Andrew,

    both my hands work properly. Is there something you wanted me to grab a hold of?

    Oh, byy the way, I believe it is so I can counter my anencephalic difficiencies.

    What's a guy to do with no brain and two hands?

    Ah, maybe:::>

    1Co 2:14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.
    1Co 2:15 The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one.
    1Co 2:16 "For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.