He is the very model of a minor modern infidel

“That's why I AM considered a serious thinker and you are not.”

—John Loftus

I am the very model of a minor modern infidel,
I used to be a minister, albeit pretty nominal,
Until I left the faith for reasons strictly extramarital;
I’m hell-bent on a path that leads me to a fate most damnable,
I flushed my life and hope and love right down the cosmic urinal,
To be a slave of darkness as Old Horney’s latest lickspittle.
If I’m wrong I have a whole eternity to lose,
But even if I’m right I’m also bound to sorely lose.
Come join with me to share a fate so sulfurous,
As we spend eternity in deepest, darkest Tartarus.
In short, in matters venial, bestial, and egotistical,
I am the very model of a minor modern infidel.

I live to vilify all hollowed doctrines of the orthodox,
Because I’m such a chatterbox;
I fell away for motives most adulterous,
Which I blame on Linda my dear succubus.
Since I spat my only hope into the cosmic cuspidor,
I’ve nothing left in to do in life than be a crashing bore.
In short, in matters venial, bestial, and egotistical,
I am the very model of a minor modern infidel.

Every day I toil away as Satan’s slavish bumpkin,
Although my books and blog are destined for the cosmic dustbin;
I’m nothing but a small-time braggart,
Recycling words of many I parrot;
Reasons weren’t the reason for my ultimate apostasy,
The real reason lay in my adultery;
Come, grab your chance to share my fateful company,
Like me, you too, can doom yourself to be a nullity.
Come, sign your name, to join the infidel necrology,
And rot within the saintéd grave of putrid infidelity.
But still, in matters venial, bestial, and egotistical,
I am the very model of a minor modern infidel.