Anti-Catholics, &c.

Dave Armstrong suffers from OCD on the subject of “anti-Catholics.” Since he’s so fixated on this subject, I think the least we could do is to improve on his simplistic classification scheme. If he’s going to assign various people to religious pigeonholes, I’d suggest he employ a more nuanced taxonomy. For example:

Catholic, anybody Dave agrees with.
Anti-Catholic, 1. anybody Dave disagrees with. 2. anybody who hurts Dave’s feelings. 3. anybody Dave is afraid to debate.
Anti-Anti-Catholic, somebody more Catholic than the pope. Usually an evangelical convert to Rome (e.g. Dave Armstrong). Double negation for emphasis.
Anti-Anti-Anti-Catholic, a Reformed blogger. Triple negation for emphasis.
Ante-Catholic, a Traditionalist Catholic (e.g. Archbishop Lefebvre).
Ante-Ante-Catholic, a Sedevacantist (e.g. Gerry Matatics).
Ante-Ante-Ante-Catholic, a Conclavist (e.g. Pope Michael I).
Lapsed Catholic, 1. a Catholic who’s ceased to practice the faith. 2. a Catholic who slips and falls on holy water (e.g. Francis Cardinal George).
Anti-Ante-Lapsed Catholic, an evangelical who became a Sedevacantist who became a Byzantine who became an Eastern rite Catholic (e.g. Jay Dyer).
Anti-Broccolist, a Broccoli bigot. Somebody who suffers from a gustatory animus towards Brassica oleracea botrytis. Usually associated with ex-presidents.
Cultural Catholic, a politician from Massachusetts. Usually a presidential candidate.
Cafeteria Catholic, 1. a Catholic who picks and chooses what to believe. 2. a Catholic gourmand (e.g. Pavarotti, Tetrazzini).
Good Catholic, anybody who buys a miracle hot tub from Dave.
Papist, a term employed to push Dave’s buttons.
Romanist, another term employed to push Dave’s buttons.