Scene 1 – A coffee shop. SIMPLICIO is ordering a decaf nonfat latte when his friends SALVIATI and SAGREDO arrive.
SIMPLICIO: Salviati, I challenge you on a mathematical point!
SALVIATI: (to SAGREDO) This will be interesting.
SIMPLICIO: The other night I read in the Oxford Annotated Book of Math Theorems that the + sign indicates addition.
SALVIATI: Yes, that is correct.
SIMPLICIO: Therefore, proper exegesis of the OABMT shows us that 1 + 1 = 11 after all.
SALVIATI: (with a sigh) That’s not how you do addition.
SIMPLICIO: You only say that because you’re importing Reformed Mathedology into the text. But if you don’t start with your philosophy, you’ll see that I’m correct.
SAGREDO: Simplicio seems to have a point. I mean, what’s to keep 1 + 1 from being 11? God could certainly make 1 + 1 into 11.
SALVIATI: No He can’t. Addition isn’t the combining of symbols; it’s combining of numbers represented by those symbols.
SIMPLICIO: Aha! See, you import your Reformed Mathedology even now! Eisegesis!
SALVIATI: No, it’s exegesis straight out of the OABMT, chapter 1. It states: “Addition came about from the counting of items. Items in one pile were combined with items of another pile, and the total of both piles was the sum.”
SIMPLICIO: But we’re not talking about addition, we’re talking about the + sign.
SALVIATI: Which you agreed indicates addition.
SIMPLICIO: That’s not true! Besides, 1 + 1 = 11. Just look at it. The common sense reading shows you I’m right.
SAGREDO: Indeed, it does appear that 1 + 1 could form 11. Couldn’t this be an indication of looking at it from the wrong angle? Perhaps you need to read it in binary.
SIMPLICIO: Yes! Binary, exactly right!
SALVIATI: 1 + 1 = 10 in binary.
SIMPLICIO: No, it’s 11.
SALVIATI: Look, there are rules for math and you’re violating them. One and one is two regardless of the base you use. Two is represented by the numeral 2 in base 10, and by the number 10 in binary.
SIMPLICIO: Oh, so now 2 = 10! I told you those Reformed Mathedologies are incoherent!
SALVIATI: You’re not listening to what I’m saying.
SIMPLICIO: Sure I am. You’re spouting a lot of gibberish.
BARISTA: Your coffee is ready, sir.
Scene 10 – Outside the coffee shop ten minutes later.
SAGREDO: Salviati, I must confess that Simplicio has brought up some interesting points. I think he is right.
SIMPLICIO: Thank you, Sagredo. This is how true mathematicians behave, you see. We are unified.
SALVIATI: Whether you’re unified or not, you’re violating the rules of math. You say that 1 + 1 = 11. How is this possible?
SIMPLICIO: I’ve already explained it.
SALVIATI: No, you’ve stated it.
SIMPLICIO: Common sense shows us. I already told you this.
SALVIATI: But you haven’t shown how it works from the rules of math.
SIMPLICIO: Everything is rules to you. Why can’t you just let go and let God?
SALVIATI: That doesn’t even make sense.
SIMPLICIO: You need to understand binary. God is binary.
SALVIATI: I thought he was a Trinity.
SIMPLICIO: That too. But that’s beside the point, because 1 + 1 = 11.
SALVIATI: Repeating yourself is no substitute for proof.
SIMPLICIO: Why are you so demanding of proof? Have faith.
SALVIATI: The OABMT itself gives us the rules. It’s not God-honoring faith to ignore what He has given us. And you’re ignoring the rules here.
SIMPLICIO: Look, would you agree that 2 + 2 = 22?
SALVIATI: No, it equals 4.
SIMPLICIO: In binary, I mean.
SALVIATI: Binary doesn’t have the numeral 2. It’s only 1s and 0s. The binary four is represented by 100.
SIMPLICIO: Sheesh, do you have to correct EVERY LITTLE THING?
SALVIATI: When it’s wrong, yes.
SIMPLICIO: This is why I’ve argued that Reformed Mathedology divides!
SALVIATI: Well, yes that how fractions came about.
SALVIATI: A little joke.
SIMPLICIO: So now you mock me. You’re showing real character there.
SALVIATI: Actually I’ve given up on trying to convince you reality is real. Jokes are all that you deserve now.
SAGREDO: Don’t you think that’s a little harsh, Salviati?
SALVIATI: What’s harsh is his lack of exegetical skills and the inability to reason. There are only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and Simplicio.
SIMPLICIO: What’s that supposed to mean? Here I’ve presented my evidence and all you do is challenge little things. Why can’t I just make simple comments without having to defend every little thing?
SALVIATI: Um, you were the one who challenged me, remember?
SIMPLICIO: No I didn’t! I just made a simple comment and you have to pick it all apart. That’s so loving of you.
SALVIATI: Does your memory extend back further than 11 seconds?
SIMPLICIO: 1 + 1 = 11!
SALVIATI: Never mind.
SAGREDO: Salviati, I must object. You’re being overly mean here. This is completely uncalled for. In fact, I think the only thing you’re good for now is to be a contributor at Triablogue. As for me and Simplicio, farewell you Reformed meanie!