Do you have a problem following rational discourse? Does the length of philosophical words make you long for your mother’s basement again? Are you afraid of the Triabloguers?
The new Irrationality Department of the acclaimed Institute of Thought is now accepting applications for the summer semester! Learn how to become a fearless debater who is unafraid to stand up to the likes of Paul Manata by courageously rejecting rationality altogether.
In our courses, you will learn how to avoid such charges as:
1) Question Begging. “I wasn’t asking a question, I was making statements.”
2) Non Sequitur. “I like that comic too.”
3) Circular Reasoning. “Reasons aren’t shapes.”
Most importantly, you will learn how to respond to every argument against your position with, “You don’t know for certain that that’s true.”
More advanced students can also dabble in the newly offered courses: “Quantum Leap To Conclusions!” and “Buddhism: The Christian Version.” Both advanced level courses are taught by resident professor Touchstone, so you’re guaranteed to get an A!*
Most of you have heard of the Institute of Thought before, but the Irrationality Department – Institute of Thought is a relatively new branch dedicated to solving your critical thinking problems so you don’t have to. Class size is limited, so apply today!
Note: Not all applicants are sufficiently irrational to qualify for acceptance to this program. To find out if you’re ID-IOT material, put your complete name, address, phone number, social security number, mother’s maiden name, every credit card number (completely with expiration date), your bank wire information, and your ATM PIN in the comments section of this PSA. You don’t know for certain that anyone will steal it.
*Guarantee only applicable to atheists.