Let's play God for a day!

"God could’ve created all human beings with one color of skin. There has been too much killing, slavery, and wars because we are not one race with one language."

http://adebateontheproblemofevil.blogspot.com/2007/01/extent-of-suffering-in-our-world-makes.html

Let’s extend Loftus’ irresistible logic to a few more showcase examples:

1.Beautiful women tempt some men to commit fornication and adultery.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no beautiful women.

On the Loftus scale of values, a world without beautiful women is better than a world with beautiful women.

Bye, bye Lena Horne. Bye, bye Dolores Del Rio.

2.If it weren’t for the existence of women, there would be no female rape victims.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no women—beautiful or otherwise.

A world without women is better than a world with women.

Alternative: in a perfect world, all men would be eunuchs.

Will Loftus lead by example?

3.Fashion-conscious people are vain.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, everyone would dress in Maoist fatigues.

Lipstick would be banned.

All women would have buzz-cuts.

O, I forgot, in a perfect world there would be no women.

4.Kids sometimes break the China.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no kids.

Kids are such a nuisance anyway.

5.Puppies sometimes wet the rug.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no puppies.

6.The poor often envy the rich.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, everyone would be equally poor.

7. Some people overeat.

In a perfect world, there would be no ice cream. Just soybeans and tofu.

8.Sunbathers frequently get sunburn.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no sandy beaches or sunny weather.

A world with gray, overcast skies is better than a world with sunshine.

9.Some people use their fingers to make obscene gestures.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no fingers—just bony, fleshy stumps.

10.Dogs sometimes bite the hand that feeds them.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, there would be no pet dogs. (Not to mention kittens!).

11.Some people play their music too loud.

Therefore, in a perfect world, there would be no music.

12.The sense of touch tempts some people to commit fornication and adultery.

Therefore, if Loftus were God, hugs and kisses would be banned.

On second thought, in a perfect world there’d be nothing worth hugging.

13.To be continued…

Welcome to the best of all possible worlds. Sign up now while reservations last!