The only taboo in atheism is Christianity. Everything else is a live option.
The attempt is already underway to mainstream pedophilia. So why not necrophilia? For instance:
Gay marriage and transgenderism are already so olde hatte that SJWs need a new cause. And it doesn't take much imagination to make a case for necrophilic marriage equality that parallels gay marriage equality. This is the next frontier in civil rights.
Only bigots are judgmental about who you love, right? To paraphrase Nicholas Wolterstorff, necrophilic marriage doesn't violate the love command.
And just consider the advantages to necrophilic marriage:
• A cadaverous spouse is cheaper than cats and dogs. You don't have to buy pet food, walk your cadaverous spouse several times a day, obey scoop laws, or take it to the veterinarian.
• There's a natural coalition between necrophilics and antinatalists. If you want sex without kids, necrophilia is the perfect prophylactic.
• Necrophilic marriage moots the need for affirmative consent policies. Corpses never refuse a romantic overture.
• With proper embalming, a cadaverous spouse is serviceable for at least six months. That's longer than the average Hollywood marriage.
• Although a cadaverous spouse may not be the most scintillating conversation partner, it's an excellent listener. Never interrupts. Never contradicts you.
It will be necessary to extend or reinterpret nondiscrimination laws to achieve necrophilic marriage equality.
Just as there are transgender nouns and pronouns like "transgender man," "transgender woman," and "xemself," we will now coin necrophilic nouns and pronouns like necro-husband, necro-wife, and necro-self.
Employees who refuse to use necrophilic nouns and pronouns will be terminated. Students who refuse to use necrophilic nouns and pronouns will be expelled. Using necrophobic slurs (e.g. "carcass," "rotting," putrescent") to refer to someone's cadaverous spouse will be codified as hate speech.
Unfortunately, there are necrophobes who don't wish to sit next to corpses. So public accommodation laws will need to be expanded to cover restaurants and public transportation (e.g. airplanes, busses). Same applies to public swimming pools, if you wish to go swimming with your necro-spouse.
Christian florists, photographers, and bakers who refuse to cater necrophilic marriages will be fined.
The NEA, in conjunction with the Department of Education and the USCCR, will prepared K-12 curriculum to enlighten students in necrophilic equality.
One potential source of friction will be competition between necrophilic activists and cannibal rights activists, inasmuch as both groups lay claim to the morgue. But this tension can be resolved by cadaverous quotas for each group.
It will take time to overcome pockets of necrophobia in the Bible belt, but we must never relent in the quest for equal rights.
The strange thing is that posthumous marriages actually occur in some countries.
ReplyDeletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posthumous_marriage
I thought the mormons did this. Wait maybe that's baptism for the dead. Then again they are technically still married to a dead spouse....
ReplyDelete"One potential source of friction will be competition between necrophilic activists and cannibal rights activists, inasmuch as both groups lay claim to the morgue."
ReplyDeletea. Don't forget that this is mitigated by a significant overlap between these two groups.
b. These two groups also have a significant overlap with "life liberators" (an early attempt to coin a PC term for the more derogatory "mass murderers") so the SJWs also need to work for social acceptance for them as well.
A very interesting article Steve, although maybe later you can expand on it. Right now, it's very skeletal.
ReplyDeleteStill, you've approached with your usual precision and rigor (mortis).
I agee; it could be fleshed out a bit. (Apologies if anyone was offended.)
DeleteNice! Making light of such a grave matter is like digging up dirt on the dead.
Delete