Monday, February 10, 2014

Traffic etiquette

Bnonn is a bit mystified by his recent experience visiting the US:

Why did all the most hard-working people I met not have American accents?
White liberals support immigration to spare white liberals from working menial jobs, which–in turn–gives white liberals the leisure time to promote worthy causes like illegal immigration. 
Can you teach our drivers about stopping for pedestrians? Are red lights really like stop signs, so you can go through them if no one is coming? It makes good sense to me, but I have my doubts.
I understand how that might be confusing to a tourist. Here's a basic glossary of traffic etiquette:
Green light: finish texting your classmates
Yellow light: accelerate through intersection
Red light: proceed with caution unless police car is in view
Green Arrow: wait until arrow expires, then floor accelerator to beat oncoming traffic
Bicycle lane: bonus points for clipping bikers with Green slogans
Crosswalk: bonus points for running over pedestrians with toy dogs
Sidewalk: passing lane for rush hour 

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