Angels and Demons is periodically rerun on TV. The plot involves a preposterous conspiracy theory (although it got a pass from both the USCCB and L’Osservatore Romano), but it’s fairly accurate in depicting the physical trappings of a conclave.
Watching the solemn procession of elderly becostumed cardinals–which we’ve also seen in real life (most recently with the death of John-Paul II and the election of his successor), I couldn’t help considering the irony of the situation: what if lay Catholic apologists are zealously defending a church run by a cabal of old closeted queens? Imagine the “Divine Teaching Office” of the One True Church® in the hands of geriatric homosexuals in vestments? Lends new meaning to the phrase Queen of Heaven. Vatican City on the outside, San Francisco on the inside. What a racket!