To: field operatives
Re: status report
I’m pleased to report that the crypto-Calvinist sleeper-agents we placed at Concordia Seminary to gradually infiltrate the LCMS are having the desired effect as they percolate down to the rank-and-file. As Paul McCain, echoing Mary Magdalene, recently told campus police: “They have taken away the True Body, and I know not where they have laid him.”
It was our subtle stratagem all along to subvert the pure doctrine of the Lord’s Supper, thereby causing the faithful to surrender the Lutheran Confessions. We now need to expand our sleeper-cell presence in WELS, to complete the Calvinist takeover.