Thursday, August 25, 2011

"We Are Aunicornism"

Color me confused. Here I thought atheism was merely lack of belief in a God or gods. So how can one build a whole campaign around a nonbelief? What does it mean to say We Are Atheism if what they are is what they aren't?

I mean, haven't atheists compared atheism to aunicornism? So are they going to launch an Aunicornist campaign as well? Are they going to come out of the closet and let people know where they stand on the unicorn hypothesis? Will they write or film their aunicornist testimonials?

What would the aunicornist billboards depict, exactly? An encircled unicorn with a red line through it? Would that include videos not showing unicorns?

I'd like to be on the ground floor of this movement. Be the Co-Founder of the Aunicornist party. That would be a real addition to my resume. We could even run Aunicornist candidates for local, state, and national elective office.


  1. since primarily only a few little girls like unicorns, there’s no celebrity and fame in being a professional Aunicornist or promoting an Aunicornist internet site.

  2. Not to mention the PR scandal of a schism in the Aunicornist movement between pink aunicornists, white aunicornists, and chestnut aunicornists.

  3. As many know, the IPU (Invisible Pink Unicorn) is the "goddess" of an atheistic parody "religion" (similar to the FSM).

    Will their members be opposing your party or joining it? (heh).

    But seriously, I don't recommend starting such a party because Mike A Robinson is right. It won't be very popular or profitable. Otherwise Mr. Loftus would have already written the following books...

    "Unicorns Are Not Great"
    "The Ungulate Delusion"
    "The End of Neigh"
    "Breaking the Spiraling Horn"

  4. If it was REALLY profitable, he might have even written:

    "Letter to An Uni-questrian Neigh-tion"


    "Unicorns: The Gelded Hypothesis?"

  5. I'd like to come out right now as an aflyingspaghettimonsterist.

  6. Annoyed: but what if a new cult of Rhinocerosians come along and claim that Joseph Smithocerous saw Two horns from a two-horned Rhino in the woods and declared that the true religion of Rhinocerosians is the Restored Faith; and Aunicornism is false for there is more than 1 horn? Perhaps the Outsider Test can test them.

  7. On second thought, I think the title "Breaking the SPIRAL Horn" is funnier/PUNnier and closer to Daniel Dennett's "Breaking the SPELL" than "Breaking the SPIRALING Horn". In any case, it goes without saying that Mr. Loftus would also write "Why I Became An Aunicornianist" as well as formulate "The Outsider Test for Neigh."

    Mike, there's an old Jewish joke that asks, "Why did God create Mormons?" Answer: "So that Christians would know how Jews feel."

    Well, in your hypothetical scenario, Rhinocerosians exist so that Unicornians would know how Equestrians and Hippophiles ("horse lovers") feel. The Greek word for horse is "hippo". So, it would literally be a "HIPPOthetical scenario."

  8. Annoyed: Well put; but now i have a strong urge to go to the zoo.

  9. I want to get in on the Sasquatchian/Asasquatchian debates.