It has come to my attention that Dominic Bnonn Tennant may be writing a story about an arsonist. Needless to say, I greet this development with utmost trepidation. It would be tragic if the career of such a promising young philosopher were scuttled by so imprudent a deed.
For, were he to do so, Arminians would report him to the authorities as the author of sin.
After all, if you write a story about villains, then that makes you a partner in crime. An accomplice in their villainy. An abettor in their iniquity.
His wife would become a single mom. His young daughter would grow up without a dad.
If I can’t dissuade him from this foolhardy course of action, I’d advise him to name the arsonist Finn. That way, Dominic could at least challenge the indictment as facially invalid since he’s not, in fact, the author of “sin,” but rather, the author of “Finn.”
However, the DA might amend the indictment to charge him as the author of evil, which would moot that particular line of defense.
But, just to cover his bets, perhaps he could name the arsonist Boll weevil Finn.