Thursday, May 10, 2007

The real me


“What do we get here? YEC from Steve Hays, militating against the whole of science itself.”

Sigh! T-stone is soooo naïve!

Truth is, the YEC business was part cover story, part wedge tactic.

When Paul Kurtz ushered me into his office a few years ago (I’m on the payroll, but it’s an off-the-books operation, you understand), he explained to me that I was recruited to be a secular plant. He already had Shermer to do public debates, but he needed a man on the inside.

So I’ve spent the last few years blogging on YEC, Calvinism, theonomy, &c., to build up street cred with the Blogdom of God. It was a softening up exercise so that when I began to post stuff steering the reader in the direction of strong atheism, I’d catch my constituency off guard and coax them over to the dark side unawares.

The YEC material was designed to force the issue by making middle-of-the-roadkill compromises like theistic evolution untenable, thereby paving the way for nominal believers like T-stone to emigrate to the greener pastures of moral nihilism.

Just between you and me, some of my teammates are also double agents. For example, “Paul Manata” is really Paula Zapata, Director of Womyn’s Studies at UC Berkeley, while “Patrick Chan” (not his real name) is actually Chuck Liddell’s personal trainer. Chan would be a contender in his own right if he didn’t have to spend so much of his spare time as Director of the Gesellschaft zur wissenschaftlichen Untersuchung von Parawissenschaften.


  1. I discern a spirit of deception speaking thru the words of Steve.

    Spirit of Deception, I come against you, and bid you BE GONE!

    (only morons think the world is over 6500 years closed!)

  2. Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.

  3. I've never had an iron knee.

  4. Heh.

    Well, what can I say? Surely, this is one of your best posts, ever!

    And I mean that, Steve.


  5. Not bad, humerously speaking, Steve, and nice to see you addressing a fellow Christian evolutionist like Touchstone in such a manner. I knew Christian creationists and Christian evolutionists would one day learn to carry on dialogues on the web. *smile*

    On the other hand, "theist versus atheist" dialoguees are so much further on opposite sides of a vast ravine of misunderstanding so as to not be able to hear or understand clearly what the other is saying, surely not as clearly as Christian creationists and Christian evolutionists ought to be able to hear when they speak with one another.

    I suspect that the books and people who influence us the most are the ones lying relatively near to our own present points of view, but who stretch them out a bit further than we currently are willing to go, i.e., rather than people whose views lay across a grand canyon from our own.

    Edward T. Babinski

  6. PD Nelson-

    I caught the reference. Very nice.

    "Why would I not want a coat?"
    "You said you didn't want a coat!"