In view of the new TSA / British Airways regulations and the upcoming Labor Day holiday, I thought I'd suggest a vacation checklist to help our SBC readers plan their vacations:
_________Baptism in church that affirms eternal security.
_________No Disney DVD's or tapes.
_________Tape/mp3 recorder (for taping any tongues speakers).
_________Approved list of airlines (must be Resolution 5 compliant).
_________Note: May book Carinival Cruise even though they host gay cruises and serve alcohol (Must support Annuity Board).
_________Approved list of gas stations that are Resolution 5 compliant.
_________Approved list of churches that are BFM 2000 compliant.
_________List of Founders churches (must avoid)
_________HCSB Bible
_________List of lapsed church members from approved churches for evangelism contacts (Never hurts to do some volunteer work for the churches).
_________No NASCAR products, per Res. 5 compliance.
_________Paige Patterson's cell number (for reporting Resolution 5 noncompliance and/or Calvinism in the churches visited).
_________Money for bottled water for European vacation (may be used to water down wine to biblical proportions)
_________Soft drinks and tea only, no beer. (Note: Pepsi products for NC and above, Coke for GA and below, SC, both are allowed)
_________Approved list of dry counties.
_________List of counties with vineyards (Must avoid)
_________Purpose Driven Life for light reading.
_________The Trouble With Tulip for more light reading.
_________Johnny Hunt tapes. What Love Is This ? (Dave Hunt-no relation) required reading.
_________Baptist Blog Blocker for laptop- (Baptist Blog Blocker Factor 30)
_________Wade Burleson Repellent
_________Cigarettes
_________Gun
_________Bullets
_________Camo
"Johnny Hunt books and tapes."
ReplyDeleteThe books do not exist, and the tapes are going to cost you $6 - $12 a pop, depending on the format, no exceptions allowed.
"No NASCAR products, per Res. 5 compliance."
Can you be a fan of a collegiate football team? Apparantly, there are some of those running around who support #5, particularly from the south, something along the line of 'Volunteer fan' :) Now, don't they sell and market beer at those games...
Point taken on the books. I'm correcting now.
ReplyDelete:)
Thank you for the list. I have everything except the J. Hunt tapes. Will Jr. Hill tapes do? I think they are very much alike.
ReplyDeletecb
There's a big part of me that wants us to stop making fun of the Res5 crowd.
ReplyDeleteAfter I sell some more T-Shirts.
ahem -- after I sell some more t-shirts.
ReplyDeleteBro. Gene,
ReplyDeleteRight on target Brother! You need to send the list to the 2007 SBC San Antonio overseeing committee! They can use it to compile a listing of hotels and restaurants that comply to the R#5. (If I'm not mistaken, there is a list on the SBC website that shows all of the hotels & restaurants in the area).Sorry for the late response.
Chadwick