Tuesday, August 15, 2006

SBC Labor Day Vacaton Checklist

In view of the new TSA / British Airways regulations and the upcoming Labor Day holiday, I thought I'd suggest a vacation checklist to help our SBC readers plan their vacations:

_________Baptism in church that affirms eternal security.

_________No Disney DVD's or tapes.

_________Tape/mp3 recorder (for taping any tongues speakers).

_________Approved list of airlines (must be Resolution 5 compliant).

_________Note: May book Carinival Cruise even though they host gay cruises and serve alcohol (Must support Annuity Board).

_________Approved list of gas stations that are Resolution 5 compliant.

_________Approved list of churches that are BFM 2000 compliant.

_________List of Founders churches (must avoid)

_________HCSB Bible

_________List of lapsed church members from approved churches for evangelism contacts (Never hurts to do some volunteer work for the churches).

_________No NASCAR products, per Res. 5 compliance.

_________Paige Patterson's cell number (for reporting Resolution 5 noncompliance and/or Calvinism in the churches visited).

_________Money for bottled water for European vacation (may be used to water down wine to biblical proportions)

_________Soft drinks and tea only, no beer. (Note: Pepsi products for NC and above, Coke for GA and below, SC, both are allowed)

_________Approved list of dry counties.

_________List of counties with vineyards (Must avoid)

_________Purpose Driven Life for light reading.

_________The Trouble With Tulip for more light reading.

_________Johnny Hunt tapes. What Love Is This ? (Dave Hunt-no relation) required reading.

_________Baptist Blog Blocker for laptop- (Baptist Blog Blocker Factor 30)

_________Wade Burleson Repellent

_________Cigarettes

_________Gun

_________Bullets

_________Camo

7 comments:

  1. "Johnny Hunt books and tapes."

    The books do not exist, and the tapes are going to cost you $6 - $12 a pop, depending on the format, no exceptions allowed.

    "No NASCAR products, per Res. 5 compliance."

    Can you be a fan of a collegiate football team? Apparantly, there are some of those running around who support #5, particularly from the south, something along the line of 'Volunteer fan' :) Now, don't they sell and market beer at those games...

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  2. Point taken on the books. I'm correcting now.

    :)

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  3. Nothing like humor to help us make it through the day - and night.

    It helps us to remain sane in our insane society which becomes more insane with each SBC!

    Hang on, folks, it is going to grow
    worse.

    Proverb 17:22

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  4. Thank you for the list. I have everything except the J. Hunt tapes. Will Jr. Hill tapes do? I think they are very much alike.

    cb

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  5. There's a big part of me that wants us to stop making fun of the Res5 crowd.









    After I sell some more T-Shirts.

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  6. Bro. Gene,

    Right on target Brother! You need to send the list to the 2007 SBC San Antonio overseeing committee! They can use it to compile a listing of hotels and restaurants that comply to the R#5. (If I'm not mistaken, there is a list on the SBC website that shows all of the hotels & restaurants in the area).Sorry for the late response.

    Chadwick

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