Thursday, March 23, 2017


Long ago in a galaxy far away was a religious sect known as the Lather sect. According to the Lather sect, humanoids were hellbound unless they received ritual cleansing. To avoid damnation, you had to stand still while a priest blew soap bubbles at you. 

For this to be a valid sacrament, certain conditions had to be met. The priest had to be in unbroken sudsession from St. Bubbles, founder of the sect. The priest had to face East when blowing bubbles. That had unfortunate consequences on a windy day, when not a single bubble might make contact with the penitent. 

Finally, the priest had to use a bubble blower that was a facsimile of the One True Bubble Blower. According to Lather legend, the One True Bubble Blower fell from heaven. The sect originated when St. Bubbles discovered the Holy Bubble Blower. 

Unfortunately, this led to the Great Schism, for there were two antique bubble blowers, both vying for the coveted distinction to be the original, heaven-sent bubble blower. So the Lathers split into two competing sects, anathematizing each other. This meant members of one rival sect received invalid ritual cleansing, resulting in their eternal perdition. Sadly, no one knew for sure which sect had the better claim to be in possession of the authentic bubble blower.  

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