Recently, the Most Holy Family Monastery did a devastating expose on the true identity of James White. Based on incontrovertible photographic evidence of White routinely using the sign of the horns, they confirmed what many have long suspected: "James White" is an alias for Damien.
This led to a crisis of confidence at Team Apologian. Security footage picked up TFan, Jeff Downs, and James Swan sneaking into a Roman Catholic church to siphon water from the font into a whiskey flask. The experiment was to determine if White sizzles on contact with holy water–like those vampire flicks. That would confirm his infernal paternity.
Of course, splashing him with holy water isn't risk free. That's why they drew straws. I have a reporter stationed at the local burn unit in case the experiment backfires.