Recently, the Most Holy Family Monastery did a devastating expose on the true identity of James White. Based on incontrovertible photographic evidence of White routinely using the sign of the horns, they confirmed what many have long suspected: "James White" is an alias for Damien.
This led to a crisis of confidence at Team Apologian. Security footage picked up TFan, Jeff Downs, and James Swan sneaking into a Roman Catholic church to siphon water from the font into a whiskey flask. The experiment was to determine if White sizzles on contact with holy water–like those vampire flicks. That would confirm his infernal paternity.
Of course, splashing him with holy water isn't risk free. That's why they drew straws. I have a reporter stationed at the local burn unit in case the experiment backfires.
Without going into details, if you happen to know any civilized werewolves, please pass on my email.
ReplyDeleteWerewolves are generally civilized. It's just once a month or so, when there's a full moon, that they take a walk in the wild side.
DeleteIncidentally, I've taken the precaution of procuring a handheld mirror from the estate of Doktor Van Helsing. Not only is it a beautiful antique, but practical too! This way, if White tries to hex me with the sign of the horns, I'll use the mirror to deflect the curse. One can never be too careful when contending with the Devil Incarnate!
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