Hopeless teens

From a United Methodist youth pastor:

The way I see it, the time for that debate has long since passed. The stakes are too high now. The current research suggestions that teenagers that are gay are about 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. That puts the percentage of gay teens attempting suicide at about 30-some percent. 1 out of 3 teens who are gay or bisexual will try to kill themselves. And a lot of times they succeed. In fact, Rev. Schaefer’s son contemplated suicide on a number of occasions in his teens.The fact of the matter is, it doesn’t matter whether or not you think homosexuality is a sin. Let me say that again. It does not matter if you think homosexuality is a sin, or if you think it is simply another expression of human love. It doesn’t matter. Why doesn’t it matter? Because people are dying. Kids are literally killing themselves because they are so tired of being rejected and dehumanized that they feel their only option left is to end their life. As a Youth Pastor, this makes me physically ill. And as a human, it should make you feel the same way. So, I’m through with the debate.We are past the time for debate. We no longer have the luxury to consider the original meaning of Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church. We are now faced with the reality that there are lives at stake. So whatever you believe about homosexuality, keep it to yourself. Instead, try telling a gay kid that you love him and you don’t want him to die. Try inviting her into your church and into your home and into your life. Anything other than that simply doesn’t matter. 

http://intheparlor.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/what-you-believe-about-homosexuality-doesnt-matter/

Several issues:

i) He assumes the reason homosexual teens are at higher risk of suicide is because they are "so tired of being rejected and dehumanized." That's his key operating assumption. Unfortunately, he merely asserts that to be the case. He offers no supporting argument. 

For instance, a successful Hollywood screenwriter (Ned Vizzini) committee suicide a few days ago. Is it because he was so tired of being rejected and dehumanized? Did lesbian academic Denice Denton, chancellor of UCSC, commit suicide because she was stigmatized for her sexual orientation? 

It doesn't even occur to this UMC youth pastor to ask himself if he has the cart before the horse. What if homosexuals have higher rates of suicide because homosexual relationships are emotionally unsatisfying? What if homosexuality itself is the source of the problem? What if that's inherently depressing, because their deepest physical and psychological needs are constantly frustrated by that misdirected impulse? 

What if they commit suicide because they've been told homosexuality is their only option? That's a recipe for despair. You rob them of hope. You deprived them of a better alternative. 

ii) Here's a consideration: how many teenagers are suicidal because they've been misclassified as homosexual when they are actually heterosexual? How many of them are suicidal because that's the only option they've been given ("your gay!")? 

Adolescence can be a confusing time of life, as boys and girls transition from childhood to adulthood. In that unsettled state, they are impressionable. Unsure of themselves. In a pop culture and educational subculture that glorifies homosexuality, heterosexual teens can be steered into homosexuality. They are assigned that orientation by peers, teachers, and school administrators who want more youths to self-identify as homosexual. That proves how enlightened and tolerant they are. 

What percentage of "homosexual" teens has been trapped into playing a role that doesn't fit them, because they aren't really homosexual? They've been pushed into that role.

If they express uncertainty as they probe their newfound sexual impulses, they are immediately shoehorned into that niche. How often does that happen? 

Every boy is not a extroverted jock. Some boys are susceptible to self-doubt, to doubting their masculine adequacy, because they don't measure up to the athletic paragon. 

Some boys need the camaraderie of contact sports. But many boys aren't cut out for that. 

We need heteronormative role models for introverted boys who have no interest or aptitude in intramural sports. 

iii) To what extent does a divorce culture, in which sons grow up without regular contact with their fathers, foster insecurity in their masculine identity? To what extent does that make some adolescent boys unsure of themselves around girls? 

iv) Then you have boys who really are homosexual. What about that? Should we just accept that?

Let's take a comparison. From what I've read, drug addicts are at much higher risk of suicide. If a teenager is a junkie, does that mean we should celebrate drug addiction as a legitimate alternate lifestyle?