Thursday, January 06, 2011

The Tale of Bryan and the Blind Man

1And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.

 2And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?

 3Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

 4I must work the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night cometh, when no man can work.

 5As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.

 6When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay,

 7And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.

 8The neighbours therefore, and they which before had seen him that he was blind, said, Is not this he that sat and begged?

 9Some said, This is he: others said, He is like him: but he said, I am he.

 10Therefore said they unto him, How were thine eyes opened?

 11He answered and said, A man that is called Jesus made clay, and anointed mine eyes, and said unto me, Go to the pool of Siloam, and wash: and I went and washed, and I received sight.

 12Then said they unto him, Where is he? He said, I know not.

 13They brought to Rabbi Bryan Davidstern him that aforetime was blind.

 14And it was the sabbath day when Jesus made the clay, and opened his eyes.

 15Then again Rabbi Bryan also asked him how he had received his sight. He said unto them, He put clay upon mine eyes, and I washed, and do see.

 16Therefore said Rabbi Bryan, This Jesus is not of God, because he keepeth not the canon law of Holy Mother Rabbinate.

 17They say unto the blind man again, What sayest thou of him, that he hath opened thine eyes? He said, He is a prophet.

 18But Rabbi Bryan did not believe concerning him, that he had been blind, and received his sight, until he called the parents of him that had received his sight.

 19And Rabbi Bryan asked them, saying, Is this your son, who ye say was born blind? how then doth he now see?

 20His parents answered them and said, We know that this is our son, and that he was born blind:

 21But by what means he now seeth, we know not; or who hath opened his eyes, we know not: he is of age; ask him: he shall speak for himself.

 22These words spake his parents, because they feared the rabbi: for the Sanhedrin had agreed already, that if any man did not confess rabbinical authority, he should be put out of the Mysterium Synagogum.

 23Therefore said his parents, He is of age; ask him.

 24Then again called he the man that was blind, and said unto him, Give Mother Rabbinate the praise: I know that this man is a synagogal deist.

 25He answered and said, Whether he be a synagogal deist or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.

 26Then said he to him again, What did he to thee? how opened he thine eyes?

 27He answered them, I have told you already, and ye did not hear: wherefore would ye hear it again? will you also be his disciple?

 28Then he reviled him, and said, Thou art his schismatic disciple; but we have the Magisterial Sanhedrin as our Principium Unitatis.

 29As know that God spake unto the Sanhedrin: as for this Jesus fellow, we know not from whence his succession is.

 30The man answered and said unto them, Why herein is a marvellous thing, that you know not from whence he is, and yet he hath opened mine eyes.

 31Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

 32Since the world began was it not heard that any man opened the eyes of one that was born blind.

 33If this man were not of God, he could do nothing.

 34Rabbi Bryan answered and said unto him, Thou art a synagogal consumerist; nay, a synagogal docetist; nay, a synagogal gnostick, and dost thou teach me? By what rabbinical authority dost thou presume to teach me? And he cast him out.


  1. Either that or he's cross-eyed.

  2. 5:39 Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.

    5:40 But they answered and said unto him, "As interpreted by whom?"