Friday, January 14, 2011

Progressive Christianity

Prof. R, a progressive Christian professor, was working with Christianity Without Borders in the rough and tumble jungles of academia. Prof. R had decided he simply had to go because he felt it was his calling as a progressive Christian to help alleviate some of the enormous suffering in Christianity. For months Prof. R labored tirelessly in a cozy university office suite, desperately attempting to help the young adults who had been mentally raped and mutilated by the interminably cold-hearted Reformed Christian beliefs and values of the region, beliefs and values fueled in part by these Christians' insatiable demands for biblical inerrancy, penal substitutionary atonement, and the like.

For some reason, it was the eight year old that did it. When she was brought in a specific segment of her mind had been lobotomized and somebody had embedded in its place a mind-controlling cortical microchip. As Prof. R cradled her head in his knees it was clear that they could do nothing for her but deliver her a dose of anti-sedative and anti-cataleptic medication to help alleviate the high amplitude, low frequency electroencephalogram (EEG) wave patterns in her trance-like state. Perhaps it was because she was eight, the same age as his own daughter. Perhaps it was the blank automaton look in her eyes. Perhaps it was the unforgettable screams of her desperate mother. But through it all he felt his progressive faith splintering.

Later that night he sat up with a colleague sipping a cup of orange mocha frappuccino. Suddenly the tears started rolling down his cheeks. He turned to the other man, an academic dean and fellow progressive Christian. And with his face wet with tears he whispered hoarsely, "I don't know if Peter Singer, Noam Chomsky, Peter Unger, and Norman Finkelstein demonstrate more moral integrity on a whole plethora of issues than most Christians I meet anymore!"

In that moment Prof. R did not believe the progressive Christian proposition, "Peter Singer, Noam Chomsky, Peter Unger, and Norman Finkelstein demonstrate more moral integrity on a whole plethora of issues than most Christians I meet." According to some people, the mere existence of charities like Oxfam and UNICEF is sufficient to say that Prof. R is, in that moment, wickedly suppressing the progressive beliefs, values, and agenda that call out to him. From where exactly? The high and mighty ivory tower of academia?

(Original here.)



  2. "Later that night he sat up with a colleague drinking a cup of orange mocha frappuccino."

    I sometimes go to Starbucks... does this mean I'm a liberal Christian? 'Cause if it does you can call me Johnny Spong! I'll never give it up! Never! :P

  3. Progressive Christianity

    Alex Trebek, what is "oxymoron"?

  4. Not only does Rauser accept the term 'progressive', he also self identifies as a socialist.

    “Uh, no. I’m a socialist, not a communist.”

    See here at the bottom of the thread.

  5. Hi Patrick,

    Professor Randal Rauser probably thinks your post exhibits an improper tone.

    See his post titled: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, who cares if people like me?.

  6. Aint this something the ones who wrap themselves are the most evil.a k a consertives.

  7. Hang on, Randal drinks at Starbucks?

    But doesn't he know how Starbucks franchises have put local coffee-shops out of business? They've directly contributed to a lower quality of life for many people in the West! They were allowed to compete capitalistically with local businesses, and their deeper pockets gave them an unfair advantage, so they won! A classic case of the rich getting richer. Surely only a Republican would patronize Starbucks. Surely a socialist like Randal knows better?!

    Next you'll be telling me he also buys clothes made in China. Contributing to the enslavement of children. Surely someone as progressive and intelligent and ethical as Randal buys only locally-produced goods?!

    I don't understand. I thought Randal was such an upright man. Such a good guy. So concerned for social justice.