If Bible translations were Star Wars characters

Just some humor:

If English Bible translations were Star Wars characters... 😊

* ESV = Yoda. Knowledgeable and wise, comes from a long and venerable heritage (Tyndale-KJV), but often talks backwards and uses archaisms.

* NASB = C3PO. Technically precise, popular with fellow robotic eggheads, but too literal-minded and woodenly awkward. NASB 2020 is C3PO with a smooth talking chip installed.

* LSB = K3PO. A different shade or color of C3PO in a land far, far away, i.e. Southern California, but throws in exotic sounding words (e.g. Yahweh) and obsessively repeats certain words as if it's glitching (e.g. slave).

* NET = R2D2. Said to be the robot's robot (the translator's translation), plugs in and interfaces with the latest tech, but most people don't really use it, per se, they only use it for its technical tools (NET notes).

* CSB/HCSB = Mace Windu. Boldly willing to take risks, even if it breaks with tradition (e.g. John 3:16, Rom 3:25), has a strong fan base within certain factions (SBC), but otherwise less popular than one might think, though it's increasing.

* NIV = Han Solo. Broadly popular, plain spoken and easy to follow, effectively gets the job done without any fancy acrobatics, but sometimes seems to be shady and may be smuggling illicit pronouns.

* NLT = Ewoks. Communicates with simple expressions, not the most technically proficient, but heart is in the right place and once in a while pleasantly surprises everyone.

* KJV = Darth Vader. Once thought to be the chosen one, speaks in an authoritative voice, but took a turn to the dark side when it began lording it over anyone who doesn't fall in line with the one true imperial text, the KJV Only.

* NKJV = Dark Helmet. On the one hand, it's a new and improved Vader. On the other hand, it looks like Vader lite.

* NRSV/NRSVue = Kylo Ren. Let the past die, forward thinking and progressive, but lack of faith is disturbing.

* Biblical Hebrew and Greek = Chewbacca. The most powerful warrior in terms of brute strength, but a bit woolly sounding to most people and as such needs a translator to understand.

Overestimating Humor

People do it in a lot of ways. These are just some examples among others that could be mentioned:

"Is David Wood's mockery Christ-like?"

1. David Wood defends his satire of Muhammad and Islam (it looks like this was filmed before Wood's most recent "mockery" which involved the "desecration" of the Quran):

The above is an excerpt, but the complete video is here:

2. I left my own comments regarding Wood's latest "mockery" in Peter's previous post.

Woke church

CREED:

Bethesda pic.twitter.com/qSgCNk1zi7

— maria viti (@selfdeclaredref) June 2, 2020

EVANGELISM:

I pledge to continue opposing racism & hate. To set aside my implied right to silence, inaction, & comfort, and act to leverage my privilege to make a difference. Join me by nominating 5 others to do the same. @jamesbeck_ATS @JuanCCeledonMD @drtishawang @laxswamy @NitinSeam

— Graham Carlos (@GrahamCarlos) June 4, 2020

TITHING:

Spending my day donating. Join me if you have the means. Any amount counts. Will post links where you can contribute, starting with this one #BLM https://t.co/4af7NG3oNq

— Dylan O'Brien (@dylanobrien) May 31, 2020

WORSHIP:

You weren’t allowed to go to church for the last three months but apparently you could have gotten together for a dance party. Well, as long as you have the right politics of course.

pic.twitter.com/DpO5Cr2w40

— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) June 4, 2020

SAINTS:

TIME's new cover: Say their names https://t.co/nOM5sqwVkS pic.twitter.com/tgzEcLn2ds

— TIME (@TIME) June 4, 2020

ANTI-SCIENCE:

OUT: COVID-19 is so dangerous that you can't even visit your loved one in the hospital even if they're dying.

IN: Hospital staff can go outside and applaud protesters, many of who, are walking with without a mask or social distancing.

It's really hard to reconcile those things. https://t.co/SLqCwRGVdw

— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) June 4, 2020

REPENTANCE:

Such an absolute joke pic.twitter.com/J7MQnUZ3YP

— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) June 4, 2020

APOSTASY:

Matt Yglesias getting redpilled will be a 2020 highlight. https://t.co/UYAA4KnzRI

— neontaster (@neontaster) June 4, 2020

Doublethink

From George Orwell's 1984:

The Ministry of Truth—Minitrue, in Newspeak—was startlingly different from any other object in sight. It was an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering white concrete, soaring up, terrace after terrace, 300 metres into the air. From where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its white face in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

A Catholic-Protestant meme war

A Catholic-Protestant meme war kicked off on Facebook when a couple of Catholics initiated it. Paul Manata had glorious responses, as did several other Protestants. In fact, I'd say Paul single-handedly won the war. Cameron Bertuzzi thought Protestants had lost the war...until he saw Paul's responses, then he completely reversed judgment. My contributions are below. NB: This kind of humor won't suit those who are easily offended. So of course I'll start with (probably) the most offensive one.

Plague attire

It's often hard enough to know what to wear each day, but all the more so in a pandemic! What's de rigueur in a plague?

Certainly one needs a mask to protect from breathing in contagions - or out! Yet a mask could take many different shapes and sizes.

Likewise one needs to have sufficient places on one's person to carry or store basic medical supplies. Would that be best realized in outer pockets or inner linings? Would a utility belt work?

We wouldn't wish to limit our range of motion with too much apparel or too many accessories.

No doubt the spectrum of regalia could range from cloaks and capes to more threadbare options.

I'm sure we could continue to multiply issues to address in one's dress. But theory becomes tedious. Let us move onto substance!

Might I offer some of our finest Spring selections:

Gallows humor

Predictably, the pandemic is a source of gallows humor. There are critics who take umbrage or feign umbrage at satirical observations about the pandemic. What if a friend or relative of yours was stricken by the virus? Would you still think it's funny?

However, gallows humor, and humor in general, is a standard coping strategy to release stress. It's not essentially disrespectful. 

Moreover, what's suitable for one person may not be suitable for another person, but that doesn't mean we should always avoid saying anything that might ever offend anyone. If a loved one of mine succumbed to the virus, I wouldn't find the gallows humor amusing. I might even resent it. But it wasn't directed at people in my situation, and rationally, I should take that into account and have the detachment not to expect the entire world to be tailored to my situation.

Furthermore, the objection is typically raised, not by those who've actually suffered a loss, but by sanctimonious critics who presume to speak on behalf of the bereaved. And it's less about showing compassion for the bereaved than giving the critic a chance to act morally superior. 

Introverts on social isolation

Our Lady of the Amazon

1. On the one hand, the Catholics railing against Pachamama will accept the Blessed Virgin Mary in her various racial/ethnic forms across various places at various times (e.g. Medjugorje, Fatima, Lourdes, Guadalupe).

On the other hand, these same Catholics won't accept Pachamama as Our Lady of the Amazon despite the fact that Pachamama is clearly the Blessed Virgin Mary under a different name! Pity the indigenous Amazonians who haven't had much of a break since the Spanish and Portugese made landfall in South America.

Dueling politicians

Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr.

John Randolph vs. Henry Clay.

Abraham Lincoln vs. James Shields.

Sam Houston vs. William White.

Andrew Jackson vs. everyone, though most famously Charles Dickinson.

As Americans, we used to have a fine tradition of duels among our political leaders. Regrettably, that no longer exists today.

That's why I propose we bring back dueling among politicians!

It'd help clean the moral morass that is DC. It'd save taxpayers money if politicians eliminated themselves.

At the very least, let's start with a test run: the current crop of Democratic presidential candidates. After all, they've already exchanged heated words, but I'm sure they'd love to exchange more than mere words. And it'd be a benefit for them inasmuch as it'd help narrow their crowded field.

Of course, I realize the Democrats are anti-guns. In that case, we could hand each of them an alternate weapon of their choice. For example, it'd seem appropriate to give Warren a tomahawk. Beto a broken alcohol bottle. Kamala Harris already has shooting daggers for eyes. Perhaps a jian or katana for Andrew Yang? Pete Buttigieg might wish to call in a real man to fight in his stead. Marianne Williamson will undoubtedly harness happy thoughts. Bernie can bring a nanny. And Biden? Biden doesn't need a weapon because he's creepy enough on his own, at least as long as he's dueling a female.

If this works out, I don't necessarily have any objections to moving onto Republicans like Mitt Romney, Mitch McConnell, Chris Christie, John Boehner, James Comey, Bill Weld, etc.

Storm Area 51

As many know, there's a movement to storm Area 51.

Many Americans demand to know what the government has been hiding all these years. Specifically, many Americans wish to see the alien bodies and alien technology that the government has kept under wraps. Americans have the right to know! The truth is out in there...somewhere!

It'd also be nice to know whether JFK, Elvis, and 2Pac are still alive. And how they escaped from the clutches of Bubba Ho-tep.

However, the US Air Force has issued a stern warning:

What started as a tongue-in-cheek plan by UFO enthusiasts to storm a notoriously secretive U.S. Air Force base to “see them aliens” has turned into a national security issue. The U.S. Air Force has now offered a word of caution to the more than half a million people who said they would be attending the Facebook event "Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us" in September: "[Area 51] is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces," spokeswoman Laura McAndrews told The Washington Post. "The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.” Despite the warning, users are still posting memes theorizing the best way to break into the top-secret facility on the event page, where organizers said, "If we Naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets."

There's likewise evidence the organizers are in collusion with the Russians due to identical strategies in war: send more people than bullets.

A key problem for people who wish to storm Area 51 is that the US military possesses the Active Denial System (ADS) which emits a non-lethal "heat ray" against targets:

However, I believe there's a perfectly simple and relatively inexpensive way to foil the ADS: people merely need to make sure to cover their entire bodies with body armor consisting of aluminum foil because aluminum foil can deflect these emissions from the ADS. For maximal protection, people should fashion this aluminum foil into the shape of a hat.

Good Omens

Apparently some Christians have started a petition to cancel the tv show Good Omens:

1. I presume these Christians who started a petition to cancel Good Omens are well-intentioned. However, the petition is counterproductive if its aim is to get people not to notice let alone watch the show. If anything, this is going to drum up more viewers.

2. Good Omens is based on a book of the same name written by secular atheists or agnostics Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, though dedicated to "the memory of G. K. Chesterton" with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Both the book and the show are satire. Mostly satire against Catholicism (and/or high church Anglicanism), which is worth satirizing in many respects.

3. However, even as satire against Christianity in general, Good Omens doesn't get Christianity right enough to accurately skewer Christianity. The most obvious example is Good Omens pits good and evil, heaven and hell, and God and the devil against one another as if Christianity is a dualistic religion. Hence, even as satire Good Omens misses its mark if its mark is Christianity. Why get worked up over a work that so widely misses its target?

4. Perhaps some non-Christians believe Christianity truly is what the show depicts Christianity to be. If so, I presume they're most likely naive or ill-informed. I don't know that there's much that can be done for the naive. However, it's a different story for the ill-informed. That is, it's not necessarily a good idea to push to cancel the show, but I would think it's a good idea to use the show as a jumping off point to inform people about true Christianity.

5. It seems to me Good Omens is in the satirical tradition of Horace rather than Juvenal. It's lightly humorous satire that doesn't take itself too seriously. It's absurd by design. I suspect these Christians calling for the show's cancellation are mistaking Good Omens for Juvenalian satire.

6. Not to mention, in our political and sociocultural context (i.e. the US), the push to cancel a show because it doesn't agree with one's beliefs or values smacks of censorship or something like it. Of course, Christians in America would be opposed if secularists tried to petition to ban the Bible or Christian literature - or perhaps even a satirical work against atheism or evolution.

7. In any case, I think a better response might be to laugh off Good Omens as ridiculous fare rather than entertaining it in such a serious or sober manner as to call for its cancellation. After all, Gaiman himself has laughed off the petition, with the assumption that the petition is taking the show more seriously than he is. If the show's creator doesn't take his own show seriously, then why should Christians?

UFO sightings

It looks like UFO sightings spike on the 4th of July.

It's tempting to think that's because people mistake fireworks for UFOs. That'd be a hasty conclusion to draw.

I suspect the truth is aliens love to party and Earth on the 4th is lit.

In any case, Mulder and Scully will have to investigate.

Go to the seaside

Martyn Lloyd-Jones (July 1927):

People complain about the dwindling congregations and how the churches are going down. Why are people ceasing to attend places of worship? Why is it, that last Sunday night I noticed that, while the places of worship in Cardiff were only sparsely attended, the trains coming from Porthcawl and other seaside places were packed out. Why did these people spend their day at the seaside and other in places rather than in the house of God worshipping? Well, the answer is perfectly plain. They obviously prefer to be at the seaside and feel that they get more benefit there than in their chapels and churches. Now it is no use our arguing with people like that, it is no use our telling them that they really do not get greater benefit there, because they honestly believe they do.

...What I feel like saying to these trippers is this: If you honestly believe (and remember it is your responsibility) that you derive greater benefit by spending your day in the country than you do by attending a place of worship, well then, go to the country. Don't come here if you honestly feel that you could do better elsewhere. Unless you feel that something is being offered and given to you here which no other institution can offer or equal, well then, in the name of Heaven, go out into the country or to the seaside. The church of Christ is a church of believers, an association of people banded together by a common belief and a common love. You don't believe? Well, above all, do not pretend that you do, go to the country and the seaside. All I ask of you is, be consistent. When someone dies in your family, do not come to ask the church in which you do not believe to come to bury him. Go to the seaside for consolation.

(Murray, Iain H. The Life of Martyn Lloyd-Jones 1899-1981, pp 90-91)

Muhammed meets Satan

All the world's a stage

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez should've opted for a career in Hollywood rather than politics. In fact, I'd say she deserves an Oscar nomination for her acting! For example:

1. Look straight into the camera for heightened dramatic effect. Sad, angry eyes, heavy with grief. A challenge to the audience.

2. Weep woeful tears, tears of shame and guilt for great wrongs done, vicariously experiencing the same tragedy the illegal immigrants are experiencing. (Alas! If only these "refugees" could somehow have turned around, then they wouldn't have ended up becoming "prisoners" in "concentration camps" at the border.)

3. A final forlorn glance, eyes staring off in the distance, in deep contemplation over the horrors she has witnessed, the unbearable weight of the world upon her shoulders.

4. And let's not forget the cameraman and other crew who captured AOC in all this - finding the right angles, the best lighting, positioning AOC in the proper poses and postures. Surely they're in the running for a Pulitzer prize for photography!

Huawei

Background:

1. Huawei is a gigantic Chinese tech company that produces and sells smartphones (among other things). Huawei have used their tech to spy on Western nations (e.g. US, UK), steal technology, steal trade secrets, and continue to sell their products to nations which have international sanctions against them (e.g. Iran).

2. All this despite multiple warnings from multiple nations, the arrest of their CFO, and so on.

3. Hence American companies including Google and Microsoft have banned Huawei products. So have several other companies from other Western nations. More will likely follow. No one wants the Chinese Communist Party to infiltrate them via Huawei.

4. Ironically, big tech companies like Google may be big brother, but I guess Chinese companies like Huawei are an even bigger big brother.

In short, we live in "interesting" times.

Thanks, atheism!

Skeptical Giggles

People often use humor to cover up a weakness. Laugh it off. Make the issue seem less significant than it actually is. Make yourself look more confident than you actually are. Shame your opponents with ridicule. We often see this kind of thing with critics of Christianity who refer to a "talking snake" in Genesis 3, "zombies" in Matthew 27, God as a "sky daddy", etc. You can use humor to make your position look stronger and your opponent's position look weaker than they actually are.

One of the most effective ways to abuse humor is to use it to poison the well, to prevent people from making much of an effort to look into something in the first place. Make a political, scientific, or theological view seem so disreputable from the outset that people won't give it much consideration.

In our trivial culture, humor sways a lot of people a lot more than it should. I doubt there have been many cultures in the history of the world that have overdone humor as much as we have.