Dueling politicians

Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr.

John Randolph vs. Henry Clay.

Abraham Lincoln vs. James Shields.

Sam Houston vs. William White.

Andrew Jackson vs. everyone, though most famously Charles Dickinson.

As Americans, we used to have a fine tradition of duels among our political leaders. Regrettably, that no longer exists today.

That's why I propose we bring back dueling among politicians!

It'd help clean the moral morass that is DC. It'd save taxpayers money if politicians eliminated themselves.

At the very least, let's start with a test run: the current crop of Democratic presidential candidates. After all, they've already exchanged heated words, but I'm sure they'd love to exchange more than mere words. And it'd be a benefit for them inasmuch as it'd help narrow their crowded field.

Of course, I realize the Democrats are anti-guns. In that case, we could hand each of them an alternate weapon of their choice. For example, it'd seem appropriate to give Warren a tomahawk. Beto a broken alcohol bottle. Kamala Harris already has shooting daggers for eyes. Perhaps a jian or katana for Andrew Yang? Pete Buttigieg might wish to call in a real man to fight in his stead. Marianne Williamson will undoubtedly harness happy thoughts. Bernie can bring a nanny. And Biden? Biden doesn't need a weapon because he's creepy enough on his own, at least as long as he's dueling a female.

If this works out, I don't necessarily have any objections to moving onto Republicans like Mitt Romney, Mitch McConnell, Chris Christie, John Boehner, James Comey, Bill Weld, etc.