Monday, August 15, 2011

Got Milk?

To: Heads of Security (Paul Manata, Peter Pike)
From: Puppetmaster
Re: The Neo-Calvinist Cabal

Despite our best efforts to conceal our true identity and our insidious agenda, Doug Pagitt has outed the Neo-Calvinist Cabal. So it’s time for us to regroup and rebrand.

Of course, this is something we have to do every generation or so. The Neo-Calvinist Cabal has run through many front organizations over the years, viz. the Knights Templar, Rosicrucians, Montauk Project, Skull & Bones, Trilateral Commission, Disneyland, McDonalds

Recently our most successful front organization was the Midwest Dairy Association, with its faux wholesome image.

Indeed, it was the Got Milk? commercials, with their backmasked excerpts of the Westminster Confession, that launched the New Calvinist movement.

For our next move, I think we ought to hide in plain sight by making Asbury Seminary our latest front organization. That’s the last place anyone would suspect the Neo-Calvinist Cabal to be headquartered.

We need to start phasing in pod people to replace the faculty and administration.


  1. This kind of reminds me of the introduction to James White's Radio Free Geneva iterations: "Somewhere beneath the campus of Liberty University where no one would think to look..."