Thursday, May 26, 2011

Red rapture

Not to be outdone by second or third rate eschaton hacks such as Harold Camping, William Miller, Ellen White, Mother Shipton, Joseph Smith, Charles Smyth, the Jehovah's Witnesses, the Branch Davidians, the Children of God, the Mayans, Sun Myung Moon, Shoko Asahara, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Alfred Schmielewski Narayana, Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson's followers, Nostradamus, Paul Smirnov, Benny Hinn, Edgar Cayce, Peter Ruckman, Pat Robertson, Jack van Impe, Hal Lindsey, everyone else in When Time Shall Be No More, the Democratic National Convention, the United Nations, Al Gore, the heterosexual AIDS fear mongers, John Gribbin, Stephen Plagemann, George Kukla, Paul Ehrlich, Gloria Steinem, Naomi Wolf, Oprah, and R.E.M., we've decided to unveil our own apocalyptic scenario which, like our tagline, takes its cue from the Book of Revelation: "The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up, to prepare the way for the kings from the east" (Rev 16:12).

(Design courtesy of Matthew Schultz.)


  1. Oh my. And I was expecting a nice, quiet weekend.

  2. Gentlemen:

    fouRteeN SpaCeS BeYOnd thE fUll moon stAnds A CoLumn OF sPiceS anD a PATtern oF mIST. SEeK ThIs; loOk it Up AnD FOlLow. shADowS UNDERstandINg noTHinG baR ADMitTanCe. OVERcomE TheM wiTh PoWEr foUNd iN BizZaRE sHapES.

    RemeMBer: tHEy CaN'T finD YoU unLeSs thEy DO, aNd Then iT's TOo lATE.

    Operor non fides illa lacuna: Subter supter rose infucatus crucis praemium in vultus periculosus cuspis bestia.

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  4. It's rated R.

    Maybe you should've gone for a G rating; family friendly films tend to do much better commercially and in the merchandising of promotional kitch which, as George Lucas well knows, is where the real money is at.

    But maybe you're not doing it for filthy lucre.

    It's for the sake of your art.

    It's for the people.

    And when all is said and done much of life, like much of the Bible, is rated R, no?

    In Him,

    WORD VERIFICATION: "zootfat"

  5. You are hilarious. Perhaps you can put that movie poster up in one or your minecraft levels.