Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Rule 40

***QUOTE***

centuri0n said...

I made the blogroll cut, but I didn't make an explicit mention on the rules.

How am I expected to keep up my blog if people don't make rules against me so I can blog them for being ridiculous?

Nice new template, btw. The other one was making me blind.

2/28/2006 1:28 PM

***END-QUOTE***

As an erudite student of pop culture, this is centuri0n's cryptic allusion to the Director’s Cut of the Prisoner.

The Director’s Cut is the uncut version of the Sixties cult series.

For several decades, the uncut version was suppressed by the International Jewish Conspiracy, in league with the Knights of Malta.

Last year the only existing copy was smuggled out of the vault of the Mosad, after the guard was bribed with a vintage bottle of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild.

N.B. Other unnamed sources attribute its former whereabouts to the subbasement of the Vatican library were all the back issues of Playgirl magazine are kept.

WARNING: SPOILERS FOLLOW:

In the Director’s Cut, a man, played by Frank Ataturk, hands in his resignation and storms off to his London flat. While he packs a suitcase for a tropical vacation, he is rendered unconscious by a mysterious man in a top hat. As he awakens he finds he is no longer in his London home, but a captive in the Village.

The Village is a Kafkaesque penal colony where political prisoners await trial after having been convicted and sentenced for crimes against the state of Catholicity.

There the main character goes by the name of Number Six.

After futile efforts to escape, thwarted by “Rover,” Number Six is frog marched to the courtroom, where he must stand trial for aforesaid crimes against the state of Catholicity.

Number One, played by Michael Incenser (not to be confused with his twin brother, Michael Incensor), is the trial judge. Number Forty-Eight, played by Michael Offenser, is the prosecuting attorney, while Number Two, played by Michael Pretencer, is the juryman.

Number One is easily incensed while Number Forty-Eight is easily offended—some would say unstable. As to Number Two, he is rumored in certain circles to be something of a fraud.

The specific crime for which Number Six is being tried is the infamous and much feared Rule 40, which, until recently, was classified. Even now, it is only whispered under one’s breath. This is the high crime of “unmutuality.”

The statute reads as follows:

“40. ALL links from, ALL quotes from and any comments about the BHT or its fellows (and their blogs) taken from the sites listed are prohibited at the BHT. This does NOT mean these blogs cannot be mentioned or topics at these blogs discussed, but ALL links from and ALL quotes from these blogs and any comments CONCERNING THE BHT or its MEMBERS (and their blogs) are prohibited. [Fide-O, Triablogue, Centuri0n, Pyromaniacs, Alpha and Omega Ministries, Calvinist Gadfly, Doxoblogy].”

The penalty for even the slightest infraction is revocation of all drinking privileges, followed by a social reconditioning program known as “instant social treatment.”

Number Six is also charged with the aggravating circumstance of refusing to wear his numbered badge.

Number Six pleads the Fifth and refuses to be cross-examined.

He is taken to a mental ward, where he is subjected to a brain-scan known as Degree Absolute to extract actionable intelligence on other nefarious plots to undermine the state of Catholicity.

Number Six proves resistant to the brain scan and is released back into the Village.

In the final episode, Number Six plays the white knight in a human game of chess. The white bishop is played by Paul Puffin while the black bishop is played by Pauline Puffin.

The White Queen is played by Vicki Gene Robinson while the black Queen is played by the Queen of Spades.

It’s all very confusing when you can’t tell a queen from a bishop, but checkmate is achieved when Number…

Excuse me for a moment while I answer the doorbell.

[Loud explosion heard in the background]

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