Friday, June 12, 2015

Good Grief ...

I've had some very bad moments these last few days, but as I've been going through Beth's things, I've been finding some real treasures. She was a treasure, but with some flaws. As are we all. But there were ways in which she was unique, and she touched a wide range of people very deeply. Especially me.

This may sound a bit crazy, but because of what I went through when she left for Iraq, and then when she went through leukemia, I feel as if I may have been inoculated against the very hard moments of grief that I might have otherwise suffered. I have had some hard moments, and maybe I am speaking too soon here. Also, I certainly miss her, and one of the things I miss the most is sharing things with her the things that she would have enjoyed hearing.

For example, the kids and I are at the wave pool today. She loved days like this. And she's not here to share it with. I have asked the Lord to convey to her the peace and happiness that the kids and I are feeling. It may not last. But I'm sure he's got this all worked out. The resurrection to come will fix a lot of things.


  1. Have you read "A Grief Sanctified" by Richard Baxter, John?

    1. Definitely recommend it at this time. I think you would find it both edifying and encouraging. Get the edition with the foreword by Packer. Blessings.

  2. John, I am deeply sorry for your loss: of your life partner, your best friend, your love. It's hard to reconcile such a grievous wound. I know you have the comfort of the Lord, but miss her terribly on a human level, beyond words or consolation. I found grief like the sea, coming and going in waves, and not always linear. I pray our Lord's felt presence and loving mercy on you as you navigate this.