Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rome's Pinocchio

"I have temporarily suspended my ongoing policy of not interacting with anti-Catholic arguments and polemics, for a very good reason (one of the best reasons I can imagine)."

http://socrates58.blogspot.com/2010/01/reply-to-protestant-apologist-jason.html

Dave Armstrong is a man of firm resolve. And for a man of such indomitable resolve, one resolution is hardly enough

As a result, Dave is a man of many resolutions. Resolutely irresolute in his multitude of rubbery resolutions.

When he “suspends” one of his resolutions, he always has a good reason for doing so. You see, he only suspends a resolution whenever he feels like it.

But this is temporary, you see. Suspending a resolution and breaking a resolution are two entirely different things, you see.

Whatever resolution he makes, he keeps. He always sticks to his resolutions–except for all the times he doesn’t.

When he suspends a resolution, it’s only temporary. If, for example, he swears off desert, he may temporarily suspend his resolution every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and 2nd Sunday of the month to have a slice or two of Häagen-Dazs chocolate cookie crunch cake after lunch or dinner, yet he remains resolute in his punctilious fidelity to every solemn vow. His word is his bond. He never ever goes back on his word, except whenever he happens to go back on his word–which, however, is not to be confused with breaking a promise. It’s just a suspension–and a temporary suspension, at that–of his firm, uncompromising principles.

Dave can be relied upon to mean what he says and say what he means. For whatever he says invariably means whatever he means it to mean–subject only to temporary suspensions every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and 2nd Sunday of the month.

If only more men were half as scrupulous as he, the world as we know it would be a better place by far.

9 comments:

  1. Does Mr. Armstrong have your contact information, in case he ever has political ambitions?

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  2. [falls out of chair, gasping for breath]

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  3. Makes sense to me to keep every resolution temporary seeing we live temporarily temporarily anyway.

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  4. For whatever he says invariably means whatever he means it to mean–subject only to temporary suspensions every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and 2nd Sunday of the month.

    Steve, you should be more careful with your accusations.

    Since Dave appears to have removed date stamps from his post, I cannot ascertain whether his comment was made on Tuesday or Wednesday. Yet you have left Wednesday out of your list of days when temporary suspensions can be made.

    If Dave's post was actually made on Wednesday, I will not be able to take you seriously anymore.

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  5. Thanks for the timely admonition, Carrie. That was, indeed, highly imprudent of me. I hope that Dave will intercede with the BVM on my behalf.

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  6. I hope that Dave will intercede with the BVM on my behalf.

    Jude, the patron saint of lost causes, may be more appropriate.

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  7. He's hoping to overcome this character defect so that he may one day become a real apologist, much to the gratification of those who carved him out of Balsa.

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  8. Well, Steve put me in the hospital with heart problems due to how shocked--SHOCKED!!!--I was reading Dave Armstrong lied yet again.

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  9. Armstrong is a one-man schism, always at odds with his own decrees.

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