Wednesday, May 10, 2006

My Dear Wormwood

My dear Wormwood,

As you consider the means by which you might make certain your patient’s adoption into the family of Satan, it would do you well to consider once again that universal, unregenerate maxim which binds together all unbelief. The cause of infidelity is indeed an interesting one. But today’s antichristendom, thanks to our Father of Lies, certainly doesn’t come packaged like it used to. Once upon a time there were certain qualifying factors that burdened the unbeliever. Today, however, those old and out-dated troublesome nuisances such as “thinking” (yes, it seems like such an archaic term) no longer prevent the average apostate from receiving a voice in the realm of anti-intellectualism. Although your patient has refused the mind of Christ, he is not altogether useless in an age where certainty of truth is an embarrassment.

Consider, my dear nephew, the new opportunities that await the one in your charge. A well-trained guardian demon would have long heard of the new ally in infidelity, Debunking Christianity. This team of apostates utilizes a tactic that is as old and as deceiving as our Father himself: camouflage. The moment they appeared on the scene, nearby Christian apologetic sites were inundated with soup-kitchen folklore and bedtime stories concerning their joyous days of deconverting to the antichristian faith. It is for this reason that many Christians caught in the web (pun-intended) of cyber-space have grown to ignore this power to be reckoned with. They haven’t taken them seriously, but they are all-too-little aware of the spiritual advancement these comrades have made in the name of unbelief. Indeed, I was myself fooled at first, shaking my head at what seemed to me to be a pathetic attempt at fortifying the gates of hell. But that was before I was informed that your very cousin had been assigned to this group. Yes, my son has done a marvelous job in the science of deception.

You might be wondering, however, how a team containing not one qualification among them could possibly be so effective. But that is the beauty of the world which your Father has influenced! As you know, it takes nothing more than a heart of stone to hate the Enemy Christ. But it used to take much more to be viewed as a convincing proponent in Satanic apologia. Yet now is the time to act! The leader of the group, John Loftus, has opened wide the front door to his team, and it would serve your patient greatly for you to tempt him to join. Yes, I am very aware that your patient is much of a dimwit, and that you may have some concerns that he will only be an embarrassment to the antichristian faith. But consider! Compared to the group that our General Loftus has included, your patient is the Einstein of this era!

It would do your soul much harm to read the material that is produced on that site, and therefore I heartily recommend that you only browse some of the recent headlines. I would point you to Sharon Mooney’s recent article “My Bible Tells Me So,” but she has wisely removed it. I suppose that she figured it to be a bit much, a bit “too convincing,” if you understand me. That is, camouflage can only be layered to a certain degree before it becomes noticeable. Just the right amount of uniform and a young general can be hidden in the woods; but if he overly-increases his dress, he is easily seen.

But Sharon is certainly wiser than she appears. She plays her role of buffoon well. Each member of the team has been cast for a particular part, by the way, and Sharon was cast well. She must be greatly credited as the primary reason that many Christians have naively chosen to ignore this site. Deception, my dear nephew, deception! Yes, she may seem foolish enough to make the statement that “men are stupid” on a blog that is predominately male. You may think that she is foolish enough to reveal the fact that her real motive in social feminism is not egalitarianism but a desire to unequally and inconsistently apply the dogmas of political correctness. But it is only an act! She is playing the enemy into her hand!

My dear Wormwood, in the words of the Enemy, the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. And what a feast this day and age is! Oh, if only it had been this way when I was your age, I would have won many souls to hell! The condemnation of many would have been ensured!

We must never forget that the nature of unbelief is one that is tempted with the apple of irrationalism. It was terribly foolish for Adam and Eve to believe the Father and think that any good would come from disobedience to the Enemy. But damning delusions have always been damning. Today, all we need to do is gather a group of apostates who share no qualifications but a hatred for Christ, have them join hands around a campfire and sing “We are the champions,” and the battle will be won.

Your affectionate uncle,


  1. Screwtape, if we are that unimportant, then why write so many things about us?

  2. John,

    I didn't say that you were unimportant. Read the above letter again.


  3. Screwtape,

    Isn't "not one qualification" equivocating? What "qualifications" are required to debunk Biblical issues, myths and unscientific sillness?

    Sounds like we have credentials for all of those.

    One of the "average apostates"

  4. The point is that John will seem to allow anyone on his team now-a-days, as long as they hate Christ. It seems that he never comes to the point of stating, "Well, you're a wacko who simply can't get your historical facts straight." He opens his door wide, allowing anyone in despite their obvious political agendas, like Sharon Mooney.

    And yes, if you are going to speak on historical or scientific issues, you need to be qualified to do so.

    But most importantly, one qualification that many on your team seems to lack is the ability to understand the opposing thesis. Daniel, you're failing misurably to grasp your mind around creation ex nihilo. It's rather embarrassing.

    But don't be a humorless group, k?

  5. Creation ex nihilo presumes that matter/energy was created, from nothing.

    If matter is not created or destroyed, why presume this?

    Simple question. I understand the point that Steve is trying to make, but he doesn't see mine. Furthermore, miracles are miracles. Why in the crap should I waste my time? What am I going to say? "Huh-uh"?

    Arguing with the guy who thinks that it would be okay to have plants on a planet with no star to orbit, yet would have days, displays the dichotomy in Steve and my own mindsets. He can call me stupid, [dim, actually] if he is the sort of standard you use to appraise "bright".

  6. Oh, and I'm not humorless :)

    You should just not say "not one qualification". That's breaking the 9th. John has plenty of qualifications, even if no one else does.