Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Sacramental Santa

The Christmas season is an apt time to reflect upon the tragedy of the Polar Redformation, which precipitated a split between orthodox, high santalism and schismatic, low santalism.

Here I can do no better than to quote the great Nordic historian, Rudolf von Blixem, in his classic Chronicles of Claus:

“Low santalism is generally represented by radical Baptists, Anabaptists, Nonjurors and Usagers. In their Gnostic hatred of matter, mistletoe, snowmen, X-mas trees, and eggnog, the low santalist reduces St. Nick to a mere outward symbol or nude sign of the Christmas spirit of giving.

In so doing they most grievously and impudently violate the canons of catholicity, thumbing their red noses at the Santal Fathers, and Mother Claus.

By contrast, the high santalist honors the Real Presents of St. Nick in the Christmas presents. As stated in the North Polar Confession of Faith,

‘Santa is an outward sign and seal of an inward gift. For there is, in St. Nick, a santal relation or union between the sign and the thing signified.

It hath ever been the firm belief of Mother Claus that the whole substance of the Christmas present is converted to the whole substance of Santa, under the species of ribbon and wrapping paper; which conversion is by Mother Claus suitably and properly denominated transub-Santantiation.

By this ineffable miracle, the Christmas gift, which is not only offered, but really exhibited by St. Nick, is not conferred by any power in him, but by his little helpers in, with, and under the sleigh, when present to the faith of true believers in Santa’ (NPCF XXVII.i-iii).”

6 comments:

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  2. "...the whole substance of the Christmas present is converted to the whole substance of Santa, under the species of ribbon and wrapping paper; which conversion is by Mother Claus suitably and properly denominated transub-Santantiation."

    This really clarifies a lot; however, after the proper genuflexion, penitence and unwrapping - what is to be done with the remaining ribbon and wrapping paper? Does it all go into the tabernacle or into a golden trash can?

    Please respond quickly cause I've got a lot of this stuff...

    MJB

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  3. ...however, after the proper genuflexion, penitence and unwrapping - what is to be done with the remaining ribbon and wrapping paper? Does it all go into the tabernacle or into a golden trash can?

    (lol) It goes in the recycle bin!

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  4. You kill me, Hays. What if kids are reading this -- how are their parents every going to explain that to them?

    I wish I could stop laughing so I could form a response in latin.

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  5. To contine this interesting analogy, seems to me that Calvinism's view of the presence of Christ in the Supper is truly the highest form of Santa-esqe philosophy.

    Like Santa, Calvinists are convinced he is present, but only spiritually. You can't really locate Santa to any particular place or time or moment, but rather you must ascend to heaven and there meet up with Jesus, just hanging out with the Father, since his human nature is stuck there.

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  6. Paul,

    The "spiritual" presence is not the view of Calvinism, per se, but of the Presbyterian version of Calvinism.

    Of course, a Lutheran can't actually "locate" Christ either, in terms of a tangible, demonstrable, ostensible sense. Rather, the Lutheran is simply acting on faith in a "real," but invisible and intangible "presence." The cash value is the same as a spiritual presence.

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