Saturday, December 26, 2015

Star Trek Christology

Image result for talosians

Jesus appeared to me last night in a vision. Well, to be precise, in a tele-vision. But make no mistake–it was Jesus!

Jesus appeared to me as I was watching "the Cage"–the pilot episode of Star Trek. And there he was–right before my eyes! Jesus was Capt. Christopher Pike.

You see, before Jeffrey Hunter played Capt. Pike, he played Jesus in King of Kings. Now there's no doubt that his performance of Jesus refers to Jesus. 

In my benighted philosophical ignorance, I used to think Jesus and Jeffrey Hunter were two different individuals, but then I read philosopher Michael Ray explain say there's exactly one Jesus. This common point of agreement is logically equivalent to the thesis that every Jesus is the same Jesus. In other words, everyone who worships a Jesus worships the very same Jesus, no matter how different their views about Jesus might be.

So it dawned on me that Jeffrey Hunter just is Jesus (transitive law). And it turns out that in the 23C, telepathic aliens with bulging brains will kidnap Jesus. 

Years later (in The Menagerie), Jesus will become the consort of Vina. (This will, of course, requires some adjustments to traditional Christian eschatology.) 

I now plan to wear a bulbous, pulsating head prosthetic to express my religious solidarity with the Talosians, because we worship the same Jesus (aka Jeffrey Hunter). Unfortunately, there are some bigots who refuse to acknowledge that worshipers of Jesus and Jeffrey Hunter worship one and the same being. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Maybe if you began waging murderous attacks on other sentient life-forms across the galaxy in your zeal for your "Jesus", and generally raping, pillaging, and destroying you would be dubbed as not following the "one true Jesus" one can say that with any authority because Jesus-followers are very diverse, and since there's only "one true Jesus", and you've clearly received a revelation from him and claim to follow him, you must be a true Jesus follower, your barbaric and murderous actions notwithstanding.

  3. I read that the head Talosian had a deeper voice originally, but the voice was elevated in pitch because the actor was also playing the Federation official in the Menagerie.

  4. Captain Pike is obviously a relative of mine.

    I am now accepting indulgences. For a limited time (while supplies last).

    1. Unfortunately, I'm all out of gold pressed latinum.

  5. Mark my words, Captain Pike will probably return in some future installment of the Star Trek reboot. He may have died in Star Trek Into Darkness, but he'll be brought back to life like Agent Phil Coulson was in the Marvel Universe. Remember that in the Star Trek TOS episode The Menagerie Capt. Pike was seriously injured and Spock virtually (pun intended) restored him to his prime by sending him to Talos IV. Besides, I like Bruce Greenwood as an actor and it's such a waste to have his character die so early in the reboot series. I can't be the only one who thinks Capt. Pike died to set up a story arc for a future movie. They might even use Khan's blood to revive him like they used on Kirk. But it's administered to him so late that he has some physical disabilities.