Pages

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Top news headlines!

(CNN) -- Entertainer Michael Jackson has died after being taken to a hospital on Thursday after suffering cardiac arrest, according to multiple reports including the Los Angeles Times and the Associated Press.

In other news of the day, The Jerusalem Post is reporting that Jesus Christ returned to earth today, accompanied by legions of angels.

And now back to our lead story: entertainer Michael Jackson has died after being taken to a hospital on Thursday.

7 comments:

  1. Steve, if you put the words "Michael Jackson Dies" in your headline, won't that boost your Googlability?

    ReplyDelete
  2. "'No joke. King of Pop is no more. Wow,' Michael Harris, 36, of New York City, read from a text message a friend sent to his telephone. 'It's like when Kennedy was assassinated. I will always remember being in Times Square when Michael Jackson died.'"

    -- http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529103,00.html

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, the media coverage is a little overkill (is that a bad word to use at this time? Oh well, like I have tact.)

    Personally, I think the headline should have read something like "Insane Pedophile Who Gamed Legal System Dead."

    BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson reportedly used bathroom multiple times in the months before his death! D00m!!!1!

    TOMORROW'S PRESS CONFERENCE: "If we, um, had, uh, had, my my, uh, socialized medicine package, um, already passed, um, uh, Michael Jordan, um, Jackson, um, would still be alive," says President Obama. "The fact is, um...we inherited Jackson's, um, illness from the, uh, the, uh, the previous administration."

    TOMORROW'S HEADLINE: George Bush's Policies Killed The King of Pop

    I could go on, but when parody becomes precognition it's time to drink more or something....

    ReplyDelete
  4. I used to be a fan of michael jackson when I was in grade school, peter do you really believe that he is guilty of the crimes against him?

    ReplyDelete
  5. No one here knows whether he was guilty, so best to suspend judgment.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BEN DOUGLASS SAID:

    "No one here knows whether he was guilty, so best to suspend judgment."

    If a middle-aged bachelor has little boys over to his house for sleepovers, if they slept in his bed, &c., then I'd say that's sufficient reason for parents to keep their kids out of his clutches. We can form prudential judgments short of discovering a smoking gun.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Usually, this sort of thing (link) is viewed as the next best thing to smoking gun evidence.

    When someone receives a multi-million dollar settlement from the alleged abuser we typically tend to think that it is because the accuser's accusations had at least some merit.

    While a degree of agnosticism (aka reservation of judgment) may be warranted, I cannot fault Mr. Pike for concluding as he has based on the information generally available. (I'm also not faulting Mr. Douglas for his greater caution.)

    ReplyDelete