Sightings of the One True Church® are exceedingly rare. Optimal viewing conditions are required.
There are many reasons you may fail to find the One True Church®. Maybe you were on the right beach at the wrong time, or the wrong beach at the right time, or the wrong beach at the wrong time.
Or maybe you were using the wrong metal detector. To find the One True Church® you must use a metal detector specially approved by the One True Church®. Of course, if you knew your metal detector was specially approved by the One True Church®, you wouldn’t need it, and if you didn’t know you had the right make or model, you’d have no assurance (or even probability) of detecting the One True Church®. But let’s not get bogged down in niggling minutiae. Take your cue from the experts:
Gerry Matatics looking for the One True Church®
“I’m sure it was right there only yesterday. Or was it last week?”
Robert Sungenis searching for the One True Church®
“Another day, another beach.”
Matthew Bellisario looking for the One True Church®
Gerry Matatics has to be the most piteous example here. He is full of energy, vigor, and zeal for what he believes in... And even after all this time, all his debates, and all of his work, he is still stumbling his way through a never-ending maze.
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