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Wednesday, February 06, 2019

Retroactive abortion

By Clark Kent
Daily Planet staff reporter

Having legalized infanticide for 5-year-olds and euthanasia for men and women on their 30th birthday (inspired by Logan's Run), secular progressives were stymied. There wasn't much room left over to carry out their misanthropic policies in a forward direction. So it was more efficient to go backward by mandating retroactive abortion. This utilized time-travel technology. All citizens were ordered to report to abortifacient time-machines. This enabled secular progressives to implement a consistent policy. It was so successful that a week later, the human race was scrubbed from the space-time continuum. That timeline never happened. Earth instantly reverted to the Cretaceous age. 

2 comments:

  1. Oh man, the Jedis sure are going to feel this one.

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  2. On a related note, here's an atheist taking his premises towards their logical conclusions: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-47154287

    ReplyDelete