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Monday, June 25, 2012

Animal rights and animal brights

PETA opposes zoos because cages and cramped enclosures at zoos deprive animals of the opportunity to satisfy their most basic needs. The zoo community regards the animals it keeps as commodities, and animals are regularly bought, sold, borrowed, and traded without any regard for established relationships.


Notice how animal rights activists arrogantly look down on nonhuman animals. Notice how they underestimate the superior intelligence of nonhuman animals.

It doesn’t even occur to them that animals hoodwink humans into building zoos for them. At the risk of stating the obvious, zoo exhibits permit animals to study humans in their natural urban habitat. The humans stupidly think they are going there to observe the animals, but, of course, that’s just a clever ruse which animals use to lure their human test subjects into the exhibit.

Animalian trappers position overcooked, overpriced junk food at strategically placed concession stands as bait to snooker unsuspecting humans into visiting zoos, where animals can study human social interaction.

Likewise, killer whales pretend to let humans teach them stupid animals tricks, but, of course, the human “trainer” is really a guinea pig in the orca’s experiment. It’s a way orcas administer IQ tests to humans. Needless to say, humans rank pretty low on the zoological bell-curve.

6 comments:

  1. Let's not forget all those lab mice that trick scientists into exposing them to their best research!

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    1. Research causes cancer in mice.

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    2. Ironically, I had to enter the number "42" to prove I'm not a robot in my previous comment!

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    3. Good to know the Douglas Adams reference wasn't missed. I put it in plain sight and everything!

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    4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is easily one of the funniest books I've ever read. :-)

      Although from what I remember the series went downhill pretty quickly after the second book.

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  2. Here is Lonesome George with his pet human.

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