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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Major Flaws of George Smith's Book: The Case Against God

Ole' Haus and Slim Tinkens thought they really had some good anti-theistic arguments after being to the George H. Smith memorial dinner in Tupelo, Mississippi. They really wanted to start using them against that mean hyper-Calvinistic Primitive Baptist preacher down the road. However, they lost all hope when they had to escape for their lives after Anthony Flood performed a rear-cross choke on Smith's arguments while Smith was giving his perfunctory after dinner speech. Haus and Slim then used their superb logical reasoning skills to decide that they needed to ride high with their instantaneous, push-button conversion-suspension golf-cart in the "fully-extended" position because the malarky seeping from Smith's arguments grew terribly thick after they were systematically choked out by Flood. Thank Reason (!) that these hillbilly atheists used their newfound skills in inductive logic to infer that they would need a raised suspension to escape the auditorium before they became grossed out, or worse drowned in the cesspool of malarky that was quickly collecting.

Now Haus and Slim have always tried to be faithful to Lord Spaghetti Monster, but they became fearful of their lives when they saw their favorite high priest's arguments being choked out, with malarky profusely oosing out of every orifice. Slim almost wet his shorts when he thought he saw malarky actually squirting out of the jugular vein of the high priest's strongest argument after Flood slammed it to the floor only to proceed to put it in a triangle choke! Thus, they knew they made the right decision for the greater good of the Lord of the Church when they high-tailed it. They knew that malarky was dangerous, stunk really bad, and all of that had much in common with their previous anti-theistic experiences. However, their faith remained.

These boys were glad to be back home with momma Ayn and were looking forward to their next homeschooling lesson taken from the classic novel known as "The Fountainhead." They were also looking forward to their Friday night book study of "The God Delusion" when little did they know that a posse was a' waiting for them from the First Assembly Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. These brethren had heard that ole' Haus and Slim feared for their lives and high-tailed it out of the Tupelo Metro conference center because they thought that they were going to get malarkeyed to death that night. They were easily spotted and identified because they used their unique, home-made, high-altitude capability suspension golf cart to escape the cesspool of malarky. And so, the faithful FSM clan came by to give them a real heiney-whoopin' because they failed to help high-priest George H. Smith's arguments escape from the tractor beam of irrationality.

When Deacon Bubba (guy with the with the mohawk to the left) got in ole' Haus' face, some of his hair fell out and the rest turned bleach blonde from fear. After that, all Haus could do was smile from being frightened like a little school girl (see grin). You can see Slim standing in the background observing intently (like any good scientist) and later he posited to momma Ayn that Haus' hair mostly fell out and then what was left turned mostly blonde because his last name is De'Kameleon, which, according to Slim's geneological studies, means the Chameleon must be a part of his genotype. Slim said these little critters are known for early molting and weird, immediate skin color changes when they are under extreme stress. Thus, Haus' genotypical nature gave rise to his phenotypical appearance, a good demonstration of both neo-Darwinism and the principle of causation.

When Smith's book came out in 1979, it was hailed as a definitive answer to theism in general and historic Christianity in particular. I remember reading Smith's book several years ago thinking it was non-interesting especially from a philosophical standpoint, but never wanted to prepare a critique of it. In this link, the politically and theologically left-leaning philosopher Anthony Flood did it for me by effectively neutering Smith's worn-out arguments that the unbelieving hillbillies above so desperately wanted to use.

6 comments:

  1. Devastating!

    REAP THE WHIRLWIND!!!!

    Funny article, Dusman. Let's show those unregenerated hacks what morons they are. I'm so glad God picked me. Sucks to be them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really loved this part:

    Rand says that ethics “is an objective, metaphysical necessity of man’s survival” (286), but certain men have survived quite nicely, even thrived, while violating every imaginable ethical precept.

    Really? Suppose we take the injunction against killing oneself as an "imaginable ethical precept." Can this author produce "certain men" who have "survived quite nicely" after they have successfully violated this ethical precept?

    You can tell this Flood guy really has the atheists runnin' for the hills!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice try Dusman.

    But you cannot destroy the Randroid army.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHH

    INDESTRUCTIBLE MATTER!!!!

    Mr. Randman, bring me a bong (bong, bong, bong, bong)
    Make it the largest that I've ever seen (bong, bong, bong, bong)
    Put it to my lips like roses and clover (bong, bong, bong, bong)
    Then tell me my epistemological confusion is over.
    Randman, I'm on my own
    Solipsism just makes feel so alone
    Please turn on your magic beam
    Mr. Randman, I'm on your team.

    "bong, bong, bong, bong"

    Mr. Randman, bring me some weed
    Make it the strongest that I've ever breathed
    Give him my word that I'm a Randypants
    Then tell him that I don't care that people look us askance.
    Randman, I'm want an abortion
    Bring me a philosophy based on linguistic contortion
    Please turn on your magic machine
    I want to kill children without feeling mean.

    "bong, bong, bong, bong"

    Mr. Randman (male voice: "Yesss?") bring us hashish
    My eyes have lit up with a "come-hither" gleam, oh please
    Give me a lonely heart like Patrick Chan
    And a cowboy hat like John W Loftus
    Mr Randman, to refill my bong(refill my bong)
    Would be so peachy, you're taking to long
    So please turn your completely circular epistemological scheme
    Mr Randman, on me , oh, please, please, please
    Mr Randman, you're like a dream.

    "bong, bong, bong, bong"

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is totally off topic, but your photos added a much needed touch of decor to an otherwise bland looking blog.

    Fred

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fred Butler said...
    This is totally off topic, but your photos added a much needed touch of decor to an otherwise bland looking blog.

    Fred

    *************

    And we've only got started. The next post will feature pics from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Was that supposed to be funny?

    Nice try but no cigar Dusman. Funny that, a hick from North Carolina calling other people hillbillys.

    The irony.....

    ReplyDelete