Your Post Stunk When The Christian You Tried to Debunk With Your Awful Junk

Taking a break from thinking on the last few days of my vaction/honeymoon... So I says to myself, "Self, why don't you go look at the latest that Loftus has posted on his laughable attempt at Debunking Christianity." My mouth salivated as I read his latest post. Loftus gives us some questions pastors will hate. He's right! My pastor, for one, would probably hate answering stupid questions. Anyway, back to the mouth salivating. I was so thankful because now I had an easy post to respond to and I wouldn't have to think much. I am continually amazed, though, at the fact that Loftus claims to have received a Masters in the Philosophy of Religion under William Lane Craig while he posts some of the stupidist arguments and implied arguments against Christianity. I'm begining to think that this is one big cosmic joke. Anyway, here are the questions your pastor will hate to answer:

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(1) "Who was Cain afraid would kill him when God put him out of the Garden for killing Abel? There were mom, dad, bro and himself on the whole planet at the time."

(2) "Why would God stop the whole earth for a day so Israelites could finish a genocide against the enemy?" I mean, I can see stopping it so there is more time to hug, or feed the hungry, or plant the crops, but more time to kill? Dumb story.

(3) "How come the horses in the Exodus die twice in the Ten Plagues and still survive for Pharoah to mount a final attack against the Israelites, and then die again."

(4) "If Herod killed all the little children under two to get at Jesus, who escaped, can we not say the little children had to die for Jesus before he died for them?"

(5) "Why does the Apostle Paul, who writes most of the New Testament, NEVER quote Jesus, tell a story of his life or death, discuss a miracle or teaching?"

(6) "Why does neither Mark nor John know anything about Jesus birth, while Matthew and Luke do but tell contradictory stories?"

(7) "Why does Paul only say Jesus was born of a woman like everyone else?"

(8) "Did Paul ever spend five minutes with the real human Jesus?"

(9) "Isn't it strange the man who writes most of the New Testament and tells us all how to live, think and believe about Jesus, never met him, while the Twelve who did, vanish into thin air and write nothing?"

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Answers:

LOL!

(1) Cain wasn't "put out of the garden!" Adam and Eve were! Masters at a seminary? Former pastor? Lol! Anyway, Cain was afraid that the other people who lived on the planet would kill him. Why think that Adam and Eve *only* had two children. The purpose of Genesis and the Cain and Able story is not to record the birth of every person but to give a theological lesson on heart attitude, sacrifice, and the first murder (among many other things). To think that the Bible is supposed to mention things like other children born (or, scientificly precise statements about, say, the earth's being spherical, etc) is just naive. So, ANSWER: Cain was afraid that other people were going to kill him.

(2) "I can see" is simply autobiographical. It only tells us that Loftus doesn't like the way God chooses to run His universe. Anyway, ANSWER: So they could finish carrying out the just taking of life against criminals who deserved the death penalty.

(3) Why would someone think that the horses died twice? That's dumb. Anyway, the livestock "in the field" are different than "war horses" kept in stables. And, "all" does not always mean all. Furthermore, the plagues probably did not take place one right after the other. It probably transpired over the course of months. Could not a superpower, like Egypt was, have comissioned more horses? Anyway, ANSWER: The horses don't die twice. (even if they did, you're assuming the uniformity to justify that horses can't do this, and you've yet to show how you can justifiedly make this assumption. Indeed, you claim this is a chance universe. So, what's so strange about weird chance things aheppening like this? Is this more of your rational/irrational dialectic? I think it is.)

(4) Commits the fallacy of equivocation. Also, why assume that Jesus "died for" all the children who "died for" him? ANSWER: sic et non, depending on how you want to qualify your fallacious question.

(5) Paul "NEVER" quotes Jesus? Paul quotes Jesus many times in Acts 20:35; 22:7-18; 26:14-18; and in I Corinthians 11:24-25. Wow! A Masters from a Seminary. A former pastor. A former apologist. With pastors and apologists like Loftus, who needs atheists! He "NEVER" tells a story of Jesus' death? What is Paul doing in I Corinthians 15 then! He "NEVER" discusses a miracle? What do you call his discussions of Christ's miracle in his life on the road to Damascus? What do you call his dicussion of Christ's miracle of resurrecting Himself in I Corinthians 15? He "NEVER" discusses a teaching by Jesus? What do you call his teaching on the Lord's supper? What do you call his mentioning Jesus' teaching that it is more blessed to give than receive (Acts 20:35). Wow! Loftus boasts about his knowledge of the Bible and uses it to try and act as if he can speak with authority. If Loftus thought this way as a Christian he was an embarrassment to Christian theologians and apologists. Now, as an atheologian, he is surely an embarrassment to atheologians. Anyway, ANSWER: Paul does, you nit wit.

(6) Hmmm, how do Mark and John not "know anything" about Jesus birth. I'd love to see the argument for that one. Does it go like this: "Mark never mentioned Jesus' birth, therefore he doesn't know anything about it!" Indeed, Mark 6:3 tells us that Jesus was Mary's "son" which would impply that, at least, Mark knew something about Jesus' birth -- that he was born to Mary! So, you can't say that he knew "nothing."

Same with John.

With regards to Mathew and Luke, where are the *contradictions?* Show me A and ~A in the same sense and relationship. And, if there are some, who cares. Remember, logic may be a myth, according to Loftus. ANSWER: The did "know" of his birth. What, do you think that they thought he just "popped" into existence? Silly.

(7) Huh? Jesus was born of a women like everyone else. Show me a person after Adam and Eve who did not come out of their mommy's tummy. Does Loftus think some people are born from wolves? ANSWER: Because he was.

(8) Well, so far he's spent a couple thousand years with the real human Jesus. I also assume that the road to damascus experience lasted longer than 5 minutes. What, does Loftus not think Jesus was "human" anymore after He resurrected? Sounds like it. And he was a trained Pastor? ANSWER: Probably, but if it was 4 and 1/2 minutes, who cares?

(9) Is this guy for real? Who did Paul meet on the road to Damascus then? Oh, he must be presupposing that that story is myth. How convenient! Also, what do you mean the other twelve never wrote ANYTHING??? What do you call Mathew, Mark, and John? Did the Bible Loftus used as a pastor not have those books in it? Did he ditch school on the days that they taught and read from the Gosples? ANSWER: Is this guy for real?