I've noticed the same thing for myself as I age. A quarter century or so ago, I as a precocious graduate student thought if I applied the same rigorous thinking as in analytic philosophy or abstract mathematics to theology, I'd arrive at a fully systematized faith with answers or good explanations for things. Real life has educated me to where I now look at my twentysomething self and marvel at the arrogance and naivete of that time.
Interestingly, the case for Xty grows stronger for me in that the reliability of the biblical texts is firmer and firmer for me, but a deep and full understanding of the theological portions seem more and more mysterious. When we confess the Nicene Creed, do we really understand what we're confessing about the trinity or are we simply mouthing pious word formulas? Sometimes I feel like it is the latter. Other things offend my modern first-world sensibilities, such as blood sacrifice, vicarious atonement, fallen natures, and so on. Even the answers scripture gives to these or descriptions leaves me puzzled. This is not to deny their reality, just to state that I feel like I have but a surface understanding at best of these things. None of the major doctrines strikes me as internally incoherent, but I can't understand things beyond some basic word formulas either.
When I think of things like simplicity, dual natures of Christ, etc, I'm at a loss for any good analogies. God gets more and more transcendent to me as I grow older, and due to this sense of awe and "the numinous", I get less and less patient with pop Evangelicalism's "Jesus is my bro/homebody/boyfriend/homey" attitude.
CEB Cranfield, who authored what I think is the best Romans commentary ever, had this quip about how as he ages, he realizes he "won't be approaching the throne boldly" like the Wesleyan hymn says. That's my sensation after a quarter-century. I'm glad there isn't a metaphysics exam in the afterlife.
I've noticed the same thing for myself as I age. A quarter century or so ago, I as a precocious graduate student thought if I applied the same rigorous thinking as in analytic philosophy or abstract mathematics to theology, I'd arrive at a fully systematized faith with answers or good explanations for things. Real life has educated me to where I now look at my twentysomething self and marvel at the arrogance and naivete of that time.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly, the case for Xty grows stronger for me in that the reliability of the biblical texts is firmer and firmer for me, but a deep and full understanding of the theological portions seem more and more mysterious. When we confess the Nicene Creed, do we really understand what we're confessing about the trinity or are we simply mouthing pious word formulas? Sometimes I feel like it is the latter. Other things offend my modern first-world sensibilities, such as blood sacrifice, vicarious atonement, fallen natures, and so on. Even the answers scripture gives to these or descriptions leaves me puzzled. This is not to deny their reality, just to state that I feel like I have but a surface understanding at best of these things. None of the major doctrines strikes me as internally incoherent, but I can't understand things beyond some basic word formulas either.
When I think of things like simplicity, dual natures of Christ, etc, I'm at a loss for any good analogies. God gets more and more transcendent to me as I grow older, and due to this sense of awe and "the numinous", I get less and less patient with pop Evangelicalism's "Jesus is my bro/homebody/boyfriend/homey" attitude.
CEB Cranfield, who authored what I think is the best Romans commentary ever, had this quip about how as he ages, he realizes he "won't be approaching the throne boldly" like the Wesleyan hymn says. That's my sensation after a quarter-century. I'm glad there isn't a metaphysics exam in the afterlife.
Thanks, Eric! This was an excellent read.
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