Mark Jones
What does Santa give to children based on their denomination?
Woke Santa steals presents from some kids and gives them to others.
Lutheran Santa gives children nothing because they possess all in justification.
Presbyterian Santa gives children gifts with a clear conscience because they are holy.
Baptist Santa wakes up children and evangelizes them.
Catholic Santa leaves a note that they better watch out if they aren't good and leaves a donation card for the church.
Scottish Covenanter Santa comes in and tears apart anything resembling Christmas. He leaves a Psalter.
Anglican Santa gives children an advent calendar they never asked for.
Dutch Reformed Santa just takes the cookies and is too cheap to leave presents.
Reformed Baptist Santa Leaves suits and ties so all the children can look like their dad at church.
Pentecostal Santa leaves a note where he hid the presents in gibberish that no one can understand.
Eastern Orthodox Santa refused to dress up as Santa because he didn't want to remove his vestment.
Southern Baptist Santa stole a drink of alcohol because everyone was sleeping. And he left a bunch of Albert Mohler books for the kids to read.
Nazarene Santa leaves at least four cartons of Welch's grape juice.
ReplyDeleteJehovah's Witness Santa was a no show. No elves, no presents, no reindeer. Once again, 144,000 tired kids stayed up for nothing.
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