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Saturday, April 27, 2019

Locking horns

Apologetics is normally a guy thing. Same with philosophy, theology, science, &c. There are exceptions, of course.

A feature of male psychology is that men have a natural aversion to backing down in the face of another guy. That dynamic often impacts debates over Christianity and atheism, &c. Sometimes a guy will be on the wrong side of an argument, but he digs in. He continues to defend his position even though he keeps losing the argument, because at that point it's about male competitiveness and saving face. The topic could be anything. It's not about the merits of the issue. It's about who blinks first. It becomes a challenge to masculine self-perception. To concede defeat drops you down a peg in the male dominance hierarchy. Just like sports. Something Norman Podhoretz recently said illustrates the mindset:

I'm “blue collar” myself, I suppose. I'm from the working class—my father was a milk man...when I was a kid, you would rather be beaten up than back away from a fight. The worst thing in the world you could be called was a sissy. And I was beaten up many times.


When guys debate issues, it can be like a drag race to see who swerves first to avoid a head-on collision or who brakes first as they hurtle towards the cliff. And, figuratively speaking, some guys would rather go over the cliff than blink. Sometimes that's why your opponent is so pigheaded, arguing for the sake of argument. 

I don't have any general solution except to say that it's possible to change your mind without conceding defeat. You can quietly reconsider your original position. You don't have to admit you were mistaken. You can let the matter drop in public. 

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