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Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Coming home to Mother Church


Our plant at Called to Communion obtained the classified transcript of an exclusive interview with Bryan Cross. Jason Stellman is the interviewer. 

Jason: Bryan, can you briefly remind everyone why you returned to Mother Church?

Bryan: Hats.

Jason: Hats? 

Bryan: That's right.

Jason: That's intriguing, but a bit cryptic. Could you flesh that out a bit.

Bryran: Well, as anyone who's seen me has seen, I have a little hat fetish.

Jason: Yes, I noticed that.

Bryan: Anyway, Mother Church has such cool hats. I was hoping that by coming home to Mother Church, I might get a chance to don one of those super cool hats. 

Jason: Such as?

Bryan: Bishops get to wear that pointy hat: the golden (orphreyed) mitre. Cardinals get to wear a red biretta, with the cute pom-pom on top. The pope wears crimson velvet cap trimmed with white ermine, called a camauro. Sometimes he dons The triregno, or Papal tiara. 

Jason: Anything else?

Bryan: Slippers.

Jason: Slippers?

Bryan: That's right. Papal slippers rock! High Mass at St. Peter's is even better than a Liberace concert. 

9 comments:

  1. I couldnt find the interview on their website.

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    1. It's "classified" -- the exclusive leak is here.

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    2. We may never know if it cost a good agent his life to intercept this intel and pass it onto the handler.

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    3. Of course, I can't reveal the identity of "Our plant at Called to Communion", however, I can say, we owe him a great debt of thanks for risking his life thusly.

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  2. For some reason, Dr Bryan Cross and Jason are staying out of that Addison Early Papacy discussion on CTC. Why aren't they participating?

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    1. I suspect it's because they're at the mad hatter's tea party. Or spending too much time on Pinterest goggling over all the amazing shoe collections including an assortment of slippers to die for!

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    2. Hi Explorer, I couldn't say for sure, but I have a guess. Brandon basically has taken some positions that I've taken over the years, and has "buttoned them down" in scholarly ways -- he's basically responded thoroughly to every objection they've ever made to the historical work that's been done over the last 50 years or so on Ancient Rome.

      For Roman Catholic apologists, just so someone has advanced some objection that makes any sense at all, it's enough to dismiss the whole argument.

      Brandon, by the thorough work he has done, has short-circuited all of the previous objections. Now, I think, the dynamic duo are sitting out because they have no response, and must formulate one.

      As I mentioned in my previous article, I think that they will retreat to theological ground, and press upon the notion that Roman Catholicism is somehow "the ongoing Incarnation of Christ" -- and that this "ongoing Incarnation" came complete with some sort of ontological "successor of Peter" who, through the magic of "development", managed to remain hidden for five centuries, until bishops of Rome gained access to the great riches of the Roman emperors.

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    3. Also, I'm sure they see the current discussion as secondary to the real battle to come within Rome, for which they're busily sharpening their swords. I'm referring to the war over the loud and ostentatious papal vestments of the past in contrast to Pope Francis' (shall we say) more homely and plainspoken style. Doubtless there will be far more bloodshed than the season finale of America's Next Top Model.

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