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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Pope Francis

Reuters

Reactions to the election of Pope Francis were mixed. Hans Küng expressed profound disappointment because “the conclave missed a historic opportunity to bring the Church into the Third Millennium by failing to elevate Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza or Rosemary Radford Ruether to the papacy.”

Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School, was ecstatic, saying, “I can hardly wait to kiss the new pope’s slippers!”

Baptist Pastor Scott Meadows said “This marks a historic transfer of power from one Antichrist to another Antichrist.”

Sedevacantist Gerry Matatics said “This marks a historic transfer of power from one Antichrist to another Antichrist.”

Dave Armstrong, speaking from the Papacy in Exile (locally known as the Greater Detroit Pontificate), said he could come to terms with the new pontiff “as long as Pope Francis understands who’s really in charge!”

Berny Belvedere said, “Any man whos an avid fan of the San Lorenzo de Almagro soccer team cant be half bad!”

Robert Sungenis said the new pope’s “first order of business is to crush the archheresy of heliocentrism.”

Speaking at a séance, Francis of Assisi said the election of Pope Francis “was enough to make me role over in my grave.”

6 comments:

  1. That reminds me...I have to replace my old potpourri with a new kind real soon.

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  2. Hugo Chavez said, "Hey there, father below, your infernal unworthiness. I don't know why I recently died at the relatively young age of 58. I was doing so much for you in Venezuela, Latin America, and beyond. It all seems pretty unfair to me. So I think the least you could do is give us our first South American pope. What do you say?"

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  3. I hope this Pope is as nice as Benedict XVI.

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  4. They seemed giddy on Catholic Answers Live to have a new pope. More than that, they seemed giddy to have this man as pope. Tim Staples was at the ready with all manner of trivia about Cardinal Bergoglio to make the case that he was perfectly suited and the ideal candidate to be pope at this moment in history and that the election of this pope was a demonstration of the Holy Spirit's guidance.

    All I could think was that their reaction would have been the same no matter which of the 115 Cardinal-electors was voted in.

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  5. I wonder if Staples will say the same thing if he lived around the time of the Pornocracy.

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  6. Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School, was ecstatic, saying, “I can hardly wait to kiss the new pope’s slippers!”

    The Latin word for "slippers" that Timothy George used actually carries the connotation of "bare and hairy big toe": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dictatus_papae

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